Every State of the Union Address Ever

Here's a cheeky breakdown:

1. The State of the Union is strong.
2. Applause.
3. It’s stronger because I’m up here and you’re not.
4. Applause.
5. Attack the Supreme Court [Obama only].
6. Here’s why my political party is awesome.
7. Applause from one side of room.
8. Here’s why the other party is a bunch of doody-heads.
9. Applause from the same side of the room.
10. Here’s a program I want you to pass.
11. Applause.
12. Here’s an Ordinary Average Guy whose story should convince you to pass my program.
13. Television shot of Ordinary Average Guy.
14. Applause.
15. Repeat steps 6-14 about 874 times.
16. Here’s a couple more reasons why I’m awesome.
17. Applause.

I didn't even bother watching the State of the Union address last night.  I was doing homework while watching "Mission: Impossible 3."  UPDATE:  Apparently I missed even less than I'd thought.  So rhetoric isn't enough, eh?  I told you that years ago, and you already knew it before I blogged it.  The real question is why so many people still seem enamoured of politicians' speeches that are really be-glittered piles of [insert substance here].  If I want [insert substance here], I can just listen to my undergrads' utterances of big words and little substance.  *Yawn.*  BORED NOW.