Q: What makes you depressed?
A: Seeing stupid people happy.
Q: What do you owe your parents?
A: Nothing, I hope. I didn't spend a minute bemoaning their death.
Q: What does love feel like?
A: Like a great misfortune, a monstrous parasite, a permanent state of emergency that ruins all small pleasures.
Q: What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
A: That life is a stupid, meaningless thing that has nothing to teach you.
Wow, how much venom and misanthropy can a person spew during just one interview? This has to be my favorite answer, though:
Q: What is the worst job you've done?
A: Teaching. I hate students, they are (as all people) mostly stupid and boring.
Good grief! What a horrid, pretentious, arrogant thing to say.
I'm tempted to believe this entire interview is just a hoax playing with the worst stereotypes of academics, professors, and Nerd Lords, but it doesn't seem to be.
The main thing life has taught me is that people like this are crying out to be made fun of in that ambiguous, face-to-face way that doesn't quite offend but afterward leaves them wondering if they should be offended.
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