A Short Story for Election Day

This is hilarious.  I give you a snippet of this tale by sci fi writer John Scalzi:

“Well, the local news just did a poll,” Latasha said, walking up to David, who was descending from the city hall stage where the evening’s debate would be held. The hall was beginning to fill up voters, press and political lackeys.

“Tell me I’m not in last place,” David said. He sounded tired, because he was. Two weeks of walking the district for votes had worn him out.

“You are in fact not in last place,” Latasha said. “Of the five candidates for the third district council seat, you are fourth. You are two tenths of a percentage point ahead of Nukka Farn Mu.”

“Remind me which one he is again,” David said.

“He’s the one whose entire platform is that we should be allowed to eat our neighbors’ pets,” Latasha said.

David rubbed his forehead. “So after two weeks I’m just barely ahead of the pet-eater,” he said.

“Yes,” Latasha said. “Although in the interests of complete honesty I have to tell you that the poll has a three percent margin of error.”