Thursday, June 12, 2014

The World Cup Is Here! Get Yer Hate On, Sports Fans!

For your amusement, you get not one but two haters' guides to the World Cup, both hilarious in their intentionally hyperbolic hatred and gross national stereotyping.  Here you go:
Obviously the caveat is that if you are easily offended, don't bother.  Then again, if you were easily offended, you wouldn't be reading this blog, right?

By the way, I think my favorite insult from the haters' guides is this:
Colombia: Oh hey, how'd you guys get in? DRUGS.  You're not fooling anyone here, Colombia.  When a rich guy moves in next door and I never see him commute or he runs a shop that appears to have no customers but he lives like a rich man anyway, I suspect drugs.  And that is how you got here.  We all know that FIFA chooses its host countries and tourney entrants by demanding briefcases full of bearer bonds and bondage hookers and DRUGS.  So many drugs. Enough drugs to make your eyes bleed.  That's how you bought your way in.
You know why it's so funny?  Because it's riffing on the widely known fact that FIFA is laughably, obviously corrupt.

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