Nerd Fun: the 2011 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Be advised, though, that this contest is to see who can come up with the worst prose of the year. The actual wording of the competition goal (sponsored yearly since 1982 by the English Dept. of San Jose State University)  is "to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels." Behold the winning entry, penned by Sue Fondrie:

Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories. 

Want more hilariously awful verbiage?  Check out the runners-up!  (I especially liked the winner in the Crime category.) By the way, overall winner Sue Fondrie is an associate professor of Curriculum and Instruction at the University of Wisconsin at Oshkosh.  Next time I tell you that a lot of academic writing is drivel, BELIEVE ME, mmmmmkay? I shall refrain from making more snarky comments, particularly those directed at the substance of ed schools. 

By the way, one reason I love this contest, aside from its guarantee of guffaws and gaffes along the way, is that it inherently still holds out that (oh-so-charmingly archaic on campus these days) idea that there is such a thing as bad writing as opposed to good writing ... and that it is recognizable.  Besides, it's fun to play with words!