PSA: Offending Authors Is Not a Smart Move

Why not?  Because they're authors.  They're really good at expressing themselves and communicating with words. Check out bestselling sci fi author Larry Correia's awesome rant after the president inexplicably took a potshot at bestselling authors.  (Speaking of, why is he always taking potshots at different constituencies?  Everyone from Las Vegas to corporate jet owners to writers?  It seems ... well, petty, dumb, and unnecessarily divisive to me. Unforced errors.)  Here's a bit of Correia in full glorious sarcastic cry:

Now you know the truth. A secret cabal of bestselling writers has been sabotaging the US economy all this time. Sure, you may have thought that our situation was caused by stuff like out of control government spending, or onerous regulations, or our complete lack of coherent energy policy, or the devaluation of the dollar, or people/companies living beyond their means and then expecting the tax payers to bail them out, or entitlements that are mathematically impossible to pay, or employers being afraid to hire because of fear of ObamaCare and coming taxes, or the quadrupling of our debt over the last couple of years, but NO.  That would be silly! 

It has been because of us bestselling authors all along. 

If only we paid our fair share, then all your problems would go away. 

Yes, I am a New York Times bestselling author, and as such (according to our esteemed President who would never embellish the truth) I am part of the problem. It was a good feeling to get a book on the bestseller list, but then all my dreams came true when I was given my Secret Bestselling Author Tax-Evasion Decoder Ring.   

I recall with great fondness my first meeting with this illustrious secret society of bestselling novelists at the Bohemian Roundtable Pizza. Michael Crichton was presiding (he’s not really dead, he just didn’t want to fill out his 1040ES for that quarter’s royalties). I was taught the Secret Handshake, the Mysterious Loophole, the Truth about Global Warming, and then we had milkshakes. Afterward, Robert Heinlein and I stole a flying saucer from Area 51, went joyriding, and laser-mutilated some cows just to mess with people. It was totally awesome. You guys really should write bestselling novels too. I can’t recommend it enough.

The bit about Heinlein made me laugh out loud.  I totally want to write a bestselling book and join the club now!  How about rip-roaring yarn about a group of sassy space archaeologists roaming the galaxy and fighting the hordes of alien zombie ghosts rising from ancient ruins on exotic planets?  Imagine Lara Croft Meets River Song Meets Resident Evil Meets Indiana Jones.  Imagine brains, brawn, beauty, and LOTS of things that go BOOM.  What do you think, La Parisienne?  California Dreamer?