Rant: Childless Unmarried Monster, Part Deux

Oh, yeah, "unmarried."  So now I might not only be a childless unmarried monster, but I might be that because I simply suck at planning!   That's even worse than being a childless unmarried monster because I'm a selfish careerist b*tch.  Thanks a lot, Jezebel:

Still, there is a difference between choosing to be childless and just waking up realizing it's happening to you. Some women know, for sure: I don't want children. Other women work, love, live, only to discover that they've crossed an unmarked border into new territory, where everything looks exactly the same, only now you're that woman who never had kids.

That's just great! Negligent barrenness.  My unused uterus isn't bearing anything aside from witness against me now.  Let me post this too while I'm at it:

But no, let's not end on a note of pungent bitterness with a lingering tangy aftertaste of RAGE.  Feminist Ryan Gosling will make us all feel better:

I don't personally think that opinion's true about contemporary motherhood, but the impeccably dressed Gosling looks goooooooooood in that photo from the Ides of March premiere, and I don't need an excuse to post something beautiful.  On a related note, the actual Ryan Gosling is on the record saying that he wants to make babies.  Not merely make the beast with two backs - nope, he said make BABIES and even give up acting to be a dad if he has to.  May I say, sir, that that is one of the hottest things I've ever heard.  (But I do hope you can make both!)  ANYHOO ...

As long as we're all on the record, I'd looooooove to meet and marry the right man and make a whole pack of adorable nerdy babies named after historical figures (but not crazy stuff like little Sun Tzu Minerva or tiny Maria Theresa Minerva, so don't worry).  What, you don't think I can be an awesome mom?  Apparently some people honestly think that - in a conversation not too long ago, I said that I'd love a lot of kids, and the other person just stared incredulously as if s/he couldn't believe I actually meant that.  Someone else came right out and said they assumed I didn't want kids.  What the hell!  (Was I wearing my "selfish careerist b*tch" outfit that day?)  Anyway, how DARE people make that kind of assumption?  Obviously I wouldn't want to be parenting all by myself, but that is not the same thing ...  

Oh!  And someone else did say to me that I should just go ahead and have kids with or without a husband if I really wanted kids - or, heck, just run out and adopt.  I'm like, WHAT?  I (a) have zero desire to choose to be a single mom, and (b) kind of have the quaint old-fashioned idea of trying to pass on my own genes first, mmmmmkay?  (Aaaaaaaaaaaaand now someone somewhere is going to call me racist/class-ist/whatever-ist for saying that I want to have and raise my own babies.)  In the meanwhile, I guess I'm in loco parentis to mobs of undergrads ... and, believe you me, freshmen are still children.  So that's a rant for you, and I'll stop here before I go on to wonder, rantily, if being smart and sassy and funny and independent - instead of making me attractive - might actually make me repulsive.  I've already been told that I'm "intimidating," which seems to me to be a one small step away from "repulsive."  (Oh, please.  Grow a pair and ask a girl to coffee.  One more thing: Unlike some people, I can both talk about foreign policy *and* bake cookies at the same time.) 

WHATEVER.  I'm taking my dusty, disused uterus off for some ice cream and a manicure.  Peace out.