Signs of the Apocalypse: Kristen Stewart to Star in a Rom-Com Version of "1984"

I don't want to life on this planet anymore.

Sign of the Apocalypse: Tom Friedman and I Actually Agree on Something

As for Friedman, even a stopped clock is right twice a day, so this must be one of those times?  He tells the violent embassy-storming mobs to take a long hard look in the mirror.

Robot Apocalypse Update: the Kuratas

A giant robot with guns ... and it can be controlled by smartphone.  (Don't even bother asking where this thing is from. You know.)  Hey, am I living in a Michael Bay movie?  Either way, we're totally doomed, so I might have well have two scoops of ice cream instead of one, right?  Right!

Hello Kitty Monstrosity of the Day: Hello TP!

I can't even bring myself to post the picture.

Even the French Are Sick of French Rudeness

Well, whaddyaknow?  I'm now just waiting for someone to call this the War on Rudeness.

You Have Got to Be Freaking Kidding Me

NOOOOOOOO!

"Call Me Maybe" Explains the Euro Crisis—Seriously

Hilarious.  A taste of it:

The only thing more maddening than "Call Me Maybe" is the euro crisis. One is a banal string of saccharine statements, punctuated by swift choruses of action. The other is a pop song.

This! Is! Madness!

This! Is! Maple Bacon Fudge!

OMG, NO!

NO!   No, no, no!   Say no to brosiery and mantyhose!  What happens in the Middle Ages should stay in the Middle Ages!

Hello Kitty Monstrosity of the Day: Hello Dentist

Isn't going to the dentist terrifying enough without this?  This madness is in Tokyo.

Hello Kitty Monstrosity of the Day: A Photo Gallery from Hell

I can't bear to look.  

Hello Kitty Monstrosity of the Day: Hello Kitty + Street Fighter Video Game Coming in 2012

I am not making this up.

Quirky Asia Files: Cosplay Madness and "Lady Gaga Day" in Taichung, Taiwan

I don't even know what to say.  July 3 was "Lady Gaga Day." The photographic and video evidence is ... terrifying.   And yes, somebody actually did wear an outfit made of meat in tribute to Lady Gaga's abattoir chic.  Well, you can't spell "Gaga" without "gag"!

Sign of the Apocalypse: I Hate Justin Bieber A Little Bit Less

Oh, don't you worry, I still hate this pint-sized teen pop idol with the ridiculous hair and his screaming mobs of twelve-year-old fangirls. His nauseating song "Baby" should be ritually condemned as a crime against humanity and then wiped from every single digital music archive on the planet.  Having said all that, though, I have to confess that I hate Bieber just a tiny bit less after seeing this.  (I can't believe I just said that.)

What Fresh Hell Is This? Warner Bros. Reboot Buffy Without Joss Whedon

WHAT?!!!   NOOOOOOOOOO!!

Hello Kitty Monstrosity of the Day: Hello Pumpkin

Is no holiday safe from the depredations of the ubiquitous mouthless Japanese cartoon cat?  Apparently not.

PLEASE LET THIS BE A CRAZY FAKE RUMOR

Because otherwise the prospect is simply too horrifying to think about.

Quirky Asia Files: McDonald's Wedding Packages in Hong Kong

I swear I'm not making this up!  Talk about Happy Meals, eh?

Quote of the Day: Finding Common Political Ground

HOPECHANGE!

Well, hey! Left, right, and center have all managed to agree on something. Everybody hates the health care "reform" bill! OK, so everybody hates it for different reasons, but the fact remains that this monstrosity has offended practically every kind of political sensibility.

(Meanwhile, I wonder if I should chalk up another "sign of the Apocalypse" because Howard Dean, the Daily Kos, and I actually agree. Yikes.)

This brings us to the quote of the day by Kathleen Parker:

. . . left and right finally have discovered a common foe. Too bad for the country that his name is Obama.

Parker goes on to mumble something about feeling sorry for Obama. Really? This is, you know, what happens when you bite off more than you can chew: you CHOKE. I am heartless and cruel, so I feel no great sympathy. You wanted the highest office in the land, and now you got it. All of it. Did you think it was going to be a cakewalk? (I have to admit, though, that watching the floundering, the weird jumble of apparent arrogance and ignorance, and the slow maddening drip-drip-drip of gaffes, errors, and missteps, is now officially excruciating.)

UPDATE: More here.

Sign of the Apocalypse: "New Moon" Breaks "Dark Knight" Opening Day Box Office Record

$72.2 million. SERIOUSLY??? Well, there's no accounting for taste!

My rant about "New Moon" versus my mostly positive review of "The Dark Knight."

Errrrgh. ARGH.