Nerd Journal: The "Gallic Shrug" Has Officially Been Deployed for the Fall 2009 School Term

There's no recovery from the "Gallic Shrug," you know! Plus, I absolutely hate the way some students think that if they whine and wail and complain enough, the teacher will cave in to their demands. I don't know what kinds of teachers they've had in the past, but they've never had ME. I take cr*p from NOBODY. On a related note, female students usually don't try to give me cr*p, but every once in a while some fool of a boy will think that he can get away with cr*p. Is it because I'm a girl? I don't know, and I don't care.

Anyway, the semester's first deployment of the Shrug came this week when a student moaned for about the fifth time that "it's not fair" that I docked some points off the kid's quiz. Yeah, apparently "it's not fair" that this person lost points for the same mistakes that other students lost points for. I even said so ("Everyone who did what you did lost points"), but this bit of logic did not penetrate the kid's cranium in the slightest. Apparently the spoiled-undergrad definition of "fair" means "I don't get penalized while other people do." So I finally got annoyed and deployed THE SHRUG. The kid was forced to slink away in defeat.

By the way:

Dear Whiny Student,

Thank you for identifying yourself so early and so clearly as a troublemaker. This actually saves me a great deal of work when it comes to separating the sheep from the goats. You do realize, don't you, that I am STILL your academic overlord for the next three months or so, and that you have officially provoked my wrath and therefore painted a target on your own forehead? I really don't understand why you are so astonishingly foolish as to intentionally anger the one person who has the uncontestable power of the gradebook. Besides, teachers are like elephants: we never forget. By the way, you are not special. You will be treated the same as everybody else. The world and my class do not revolve around you. Did that burst your little self-esteem bubble? Grow up and get back to work.

Sincerely,
Miss Minerva

*MEEEEEEEEE-OW, hiss, scratch*