Film Culture Commentary: The "Avatar"/"Pocahontas" Mashup

Heh! And true!

CFV 426 - Avatar/Pocahontas Mashup FINAL VERSION from Randy Szuch on Vimeo.

Remember this? Anyway, "Avatar" = "Dances With Wolves" + "Pocahontas" + "The Last of the Mohicans" + "The Last Samurai" + "Ferngully." I stand by my initial review: "The flick is definitely worth seeing once in full 3D IMAX big-screen glory for full appreciation of its visual splendor, but the narrative is idiotic and a mishmash of just about every other kind of soggy sentiment about White Guilt, the Exotic Other, and the Noble Savage." (OK, and I freely admit to a big fat case of Schadenfreude that it didn't get the Oscar for Best Picture, so there.)

Film Culture Commentary: Thoughts on (Oscar Winner!) "The Hurt Locker"

As a follow-up to my Oscar beatdown, I give you Jules Crittenden's take on the Best Picture winner, "The Hurt Locker." Do read. He links also to nice analyses by Shrinkwrapped and Nile Gardiner, who compares it with "Avatar."

Now I've GOT to see "The Hurt Locker." Hello, DVD.

Movie Madness: The Oscar Debacle

The only good thing about this mess has been the video clip montage in honor of the late, great John Hughes. I'm turning it all off and going to read my newly-arrived Percy Jackson books.

Not even the outfits on the red carpet have been fun; almost everybody looked awful, just awful. Zoe Saldana looked like an old-school animation cel that was half-melted in a studio fire. Either that or she brutally murdered Barney the Dinosaur and was wearing his purple pelt as a trophy ... in which case I would be forced to salute her. Rachel McAdams looked as though she had thrown a Monet into her washing machine and then worn the result. Jennifer Lopez's dress somehow makes her butt look as if it's going to take over Hollywood all by its gigantic poufy self. Charlize Theron's two weird swirls of lavender satin on her dark purple bodice look as though the fabric itself is making an indecent advance on her bosoms. Amanda Seyfried's gown looks like it was made from a shower curtain. No, seriously! I have a shower curtain that looks just it -- translucent plastic with a pebbly pattern. I know we're all implementing "austerity measures," but really? Even Robert Downey, Jr., whom I adore and who had looked so very dashing at the Golden Globes, looked ludicrously geeky with a bright blue bow tie. How many Smurfs died so you could have a bow tie made from their skins, Robert? Vera Farmiglia's fuchsia ruffle monstrosity absolutely defied description. It looked like the unholy love child of an accordion and a bedskirt.

OK, Sandra Bullock looks kind of cute at least. Kate Winslet's svelte silver gown isn't too bad either. Helen Mirren looks great because she's Helen Mirren, dang it.

The intrepid and long-suffering Nikki Finke is live-blogging (and live-snarking) the award show, and her comments are far and away more engaging than the show. This year's hosts, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, are catastrophically unfunny. The Oscars are as pompous and self-absorbed as ever. How about we just cut to the chase and figure out if "The Hurt Locker" or "Avatar" gets the Best Picture prize so we can all go home? I love movies, but the Oscar train wreck is too much to ask of any film fan. Oh, and if "Avatar" wins, I'm willing to bet James Cameron's egomaniac head will balloon to such a size that he won't be able to fit through the doors of the Kodak Theater.

E!'s hilarious show "The Soup" with Joel McHale just did their uproariously sarcastic "Soup Awards," and that was actually worth watching.

Hey, Ben Stiller just showed up dressed as a Na'vi, blue paint and all, to present the Oscar for Best Makeup. OK, that's kind of amusing. And since I know there's no hope that the show will ever get better than this, I'm leaving!

UPDATE: Aaaaaand the Best Picture Oscar goes to "The Hurt Locker," which I confess I didn't see.

Film Culture Commentary: Pining for Pandora

First there was "Avatar" the movie. Then there was this.

Then comedian Jimmy Kimmel poked fun at it.



Now here are some observations by none other than Boris Johnson, the mayor of London. Blurb:

. . . The eco-conscience of Avatar is an example of how a dominant consumerist society [or, really, James Cameron and his Hollywood ilk. -- MM] is able to exhibit its better nature, to parade its guilt, to feel good about feeling bad.

And I can't believe that many of these gloomy post-Avatar Westerners, when they really think about it, would want to up sticks to Pandora and take part in Na'vi society, with its obstinate illiteracy, undemocratic adherence to a monarchy based on male primogeniture and complete absence of restaurants. The final irony, of course, is that this entrancing vision of prelapsarian innocence is the product of the most ruthless and sophisticated money-machine the world has ever seen. With a budget of $237 million and with takings already at £1 billion, this exquisite capitalist guilt trip represents one of the great triumphs of capitalism.

Heh! "Complete lack of restaurants"!

Quirky Asia Files: Chinese City Renames Local Mountain After "Avatar"

Oh, my! On a related note, some people do see some parallels between the fictional flick and the current real-life occurrence of Chinese peasants being forced off their land.

Movie Madness: Hilariously Snarky Total Reductionist "Avatar"

Awesome. (Slight language alert.)

Film Culture Commentary: "Avatar" as Eden?

Well, this little look at "Avatar" by a grad student has something I haven't seen any other review have: references to C.S. Lewis' Space Trilogy (an excellent set of sci-fi books, by the way).

The Cine-Sib, you'll recall, liked the film, and I thought the special effects were far better than the limp, predictable, caricature-filled plot.

Movie Review: First Impressions of "Avatar" + Cine-Sib Haiku (Updated with More Haiku!)

Pretty much, yeah. (Via Geeks Are Sexy.)

Two nights ago, the Cinema-Mad Sibling and I went to see "Avatar" in 3D IMAX.

Initial impressions with full review to come:

• Visual sensory supersaturation overload. I literally got a pounding physical headache by the end of it.
  
• Special effects were grand and grandiose, but after a while, they actually began to distract and even to bore. I could go on, but see the end of Part 6 here for the basic idea.
• The plot is basically both completely derivative and completely asinine. Everyone and their grandma's been saying how it's a total ripoff of "Dances With Wolves" (which is itself not that original either, but it's probably the best-known recent-ish flick that has the white-man-goes-native idea), and it's true. The flick is "Dances With Space Smurfs in psychedelic Ferngully." Plus "The Last Samurai."
  
• James Cameron rips off plenty of movies, and he also rips off himself.
• The flick is definitely worth seeing once in full 3D IMAX big-screen glory for full appreciation of its visual splendor, but the narrative is idiotic and a mishmash of just about every other kind of soggy sentiment about White Guilt, the Exotic Other, and the Noble Savage.
• Sam Worthington does a fine job as Jake Sully. Well, in as far as he can do a good job in his role. The Aussie actor's personal charisma manages to make Sully not completely stupid (just as it managed to make his Marcus Wright character in the disappointing "Terminator: Salvation" virtually that movie's only bright spot besides Anton Yelchin).
  
• You'll never look at USB connections in the same way again.
• In terms of CGI that "looks real," this is good, but it comes in the aftermath of Gollum of "Lord of the Rings" and the flick that for me really did break ground in special effects, 1993's "Jurassic Park." Those darn dinosaurs looked believable. "Avatar" and Pandora looked like we'd suddenly been sucked into a massive (though beautiful) video game. OK, I can't help myself: floating mountains? Puh-leeez.
• UNOBTAINIUM?????
  

I have to go now, but you can read these reviews until I post my full review:

• io9's take
• Crazy alien fetish

Yes, the Sib loved "Avatar." He says that the special effects are awesome even though the story is weak and cliched. This prompted (natch) an argument about spectacle versus substance. Pretty images just aren't enough to merit the praise of greatness.

Anyway, here are his haiku reviews:

Story seen before
Sensory overload, CRASH!
A big Blue Man Group.

White man v. natives
White man becomes a native
White man kills his own

Hometree is massive
Really big ethernet hub
Hey girl, plug me in

Final battle, wow!
Inorganic, organic
Metal versus flesh

The Best Sci-Fi Films of 2009

John Scalzi has a good list.

The only one I haven't seen yet is "Avatar," and the Cine-Sib and I are going to watch it together this week. I saw "District 9" but didn't have time to write a review (short version: great flick but in too many places the "social message" is laid on with a trowel, and you know that I hate being preached at. Plus, was it me, or was it just a little reminiscent of "Alien Nation" with uglier aliens?)

IMHO, for sheer splashy fun, the best sci fi flick was JJ Abrams' "Star Trek" reboot, while I give the palm for performance to Sam Rockwell in "Moon."