Movie Review: the Cine-Sib Reviews "Jonah Hex"

I had forgotten to post this before, but here it is.  Thus saith the Cinema-Mad Sibling about the movie adaptation of the steampunk comic book: 

"Jonah Hex" is a steaming pile of elephant dung.  Grade: F-

WOW.  An F-, no less.  I had teased him about seeing the flick just to see Megan Fox run around in a corset bustier.  (He said bustier.  My error, now corrected.)  Apparently even that wasn't enough.  Details of Cine-Sib disgust soon to follow.  "Jonah Hex" only got a rating of 13% on Rotten Tomatoes, as 123 of 142 movie critics hated it.  The utterly brutal reviews are undoubtedly more fun than the movie that they're shredding!


UPDATE 1:  Another bon mot from the Cine-Sib about the flick: "Its badness is like that of 'Constantine.'"  Oh, snap!  "Constantine" was horrible.  I asked if the Cine-Sib thought "Jonah Hex" was even worse than "Van Helsing," which he also hated and calls "Van Hel-stink."  He replied that "Van Hel-stink" was (marginally) better because Kate Beckinsale was in it. Heh.


UPDATE 2: Cine-Sib haiku is finally here!

What were they thinking
Comic movie epic fail
What was I thinking 

Malkovich villain
Will Arnett, freakin GOB ha!
Tom Wopat needs cash 

Nothing redeeming
Megan Fox act'ally not bad
Fast forward this flick 

Uwe Boll quality
Least Ben Kingsley not in it
Totally syfy 

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