Thursday, April 24, 2008

Best English I've Read Today: Jeremy Clarkson on Potatoes, Greenies, and Madness

Yes, yes, I know the article came out a few days ago -- I've been busy, OK?

Anyway, here it is, from Jeremy Clarkson (the Sibling and I are fans!). He reminds me in this little piece of why I do love a bit of sarcastic British writing. Here's a sample:

A sinister government agency called Wrap (We Rape and Pillage) has spent vast lumps of our money to determine that, in Britain alone, we throw away 5.1m potatoes every day. Apparently this is so morally reprehensible that we should all commit suicide.

Hmm. So we have one part of the government telling us that if we continue to eat too much we will become fat and everyone will explode. And now we have another part telling us that we have to finish everything on our plates because it’s wrong to throw food away.

Is it though? Of course, eco-mentalists argue that rotting food gives off methane gas – a global-warming agent 23 times more powerful than carbon dioxide. So a potato, casually discarded because you had too many biscuits with your afternoon tea, will cause every polar bear to suffer an agonising death, crying for its mother and thrashing about in boiling seas.

W.R.A.P.! Hilarious!

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