Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Satire Alert: "The Dark Knight Pre-emptively Sweeps the Oscars"

The unrelenting hype over the upcoming Batman movie has become ridiculous. Just take a look not only at the Rottentomatoes meter and the hyperbolic reviews, but -- more tellingly -- at the sheer verbal venom being thrown at the few writers who criticized the film. (Weirder still, the critics who have seen the film are being attacked for their opinions by fans who haven't seen it. On that note, The Movie Blog has a spot-on, if profanity-laced, commentary.)

Anyway, some pie-eyed, gushing critics have turned into mushy, shrieking fangirls, and they've been giving "The Dark Knight" just about every kind of over-the-top praise you can think of, while using some of the purplest, most cringe-inducing and overcooked prose I've ever seen. Here's just one example: one swooning critic actually wrote this line (complete with comma splice):


It’s not just the best superhero movie ever made, it’s one of the best movies ever to show up in a theater.

Got that? It's one of the best movies EVER MADE IN THE HISTORY OF MOVIES! Move over, "Casablanca"/ "Citizen Kane" / etc.!

Or take this line from another critic, who seems to have turned into an emo, hormonal teenager who's busy drawing hearts all over her notebook and filling them in with Batman's name:


Christopher Nolan's film is indeed an epic that will leave you staggering from the theater, stunned by its scope and complexity.

Somebody alert the theaters to have ambulances ready to carry away the swooning, fainting, sighing masses in their film-gasmic fits. Get real. This sort of "review" is embarrassing. "Staggering"? "Stunned"? Please.

Since I have a reflex to make fun of the ridiculous, hyperbolic, and just plain silly, here's the latest satire:



(I have to note, though: The entire movement to nominate the late Heath Ledger for a posthumous Oscar? It's real.)

I'll be seeing the film on opening night, and I'll report back to you here.


UPDATE 1: I kid you not. Right after I posted this, I read this review, which shouts, "This is the first Oscar quality superhero movie!" It also proclaims that Ledger is a shoo-in ("a lock") for the Oscar. Oh, brother.

UPDATE 2: I've been linked by What Would Toto Watch! That's cool. It's a lovely movie blog that's definitely worth your visit.

UPDATE 3: OK, I've found the most ludicrous review yet, as this Batman-acolyte compares the movie to MICHELANGELO and DA VINCI, for Pete's sake! Come ON! Yes, specifically the David and The Last Supper. You have got to be kidding.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm not really sure what to say. A friend of mine who used to work in the comic industry and still has ties with folks there posted some comments of people he knows who saw advanced previews of it.

Their comments do seem to jive with it being a lot more than just your basic superhero movie. I'll find out on Sunday.

Mad Minerva said...

Oh, I'm pretty sure that the flick will be better than the usual popcorn-pulp comic book flick (then again, this summer's been a whole season of people raising the bar on that whole genre, e.g., Downey and Norton).

What I don't get are the fans verbally assaulting critics who didn't produce positive enough reviews. That seems kinda weird to me.

Enthusiastic reviews are fine and all, and I've produced my share of happy raves, but this time around some of the reviews are bordering on Beatles-mania. Comparing the movie to Michelangelo and da Vinci just went way too far for me.

But I'll find out what's hype and what's actual Friday at 9:30! Oh, and let me know if you do a Batman review -- I'll link it.

Pat Patterson said...

So I've heard that the AMPAS, bowing to the critics, have decided to give the awards out at Pink's next week because the CW says that The Dark Knight is the best picture of all time and going to see any others is disloyal and a waste of time. Something like calls for an early inauguration of Sen. Obama because everybody knows he'll win.