Have you recently found yourself a member of the illustrious immortal community? Or are you an older vampire who has been out of the dating scene for a while? If you are interested in trying to have a normal life and remain a somewhat sexually active "teen" with the mortal kind, I'm here to help. My name is Edward Cullen and I'm a 108-year-old vampire living in a smokin' teenage body in the Pacific Northwest and I've had some recent success in wooing the ladies. I'm happy to share my tricks of the trade. One thing you must remember no matter what, though: don't listen to those werewolves. They think they are so awesome because girls dig the hot-blooded hairy guys, but they so overuse their line about "imprinting" on their soulmate. Whatever. Follow my simple guidelines and you'll have the ladies eating out of your cold, dead hands in no time."Dating for Undead Dummies"! I'm thinking that the best way to combat the rising horror of "Twilight" is to respond with humor.
By the way, I've added "Twilight" as a tag so you can track my rising revulsion through blog posts.
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