The Day After

Well, I gotta admit, I was not expecting that! Trump carried Pennsylvania? Michigan?

The wailing, gnashing of teeth, and the wearing of sackcloth and ashes by distraught Hillary fans proceeds apace around me, but let's get real here: she was a deeply - and, in the end, fatally - flawed candidate. As the incomparable Iowahawk said:

Hillary Clinton got her dream opponent, a barely literate reality show orangutan, AND SHE LOST TO HIM.

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) November 9, 2016

Also, it turns out that smugly, contemptuously belittling, insulting, demeaning, stereotyping, alienating, mocking, and occasionally outright demonizing an entire segment of the American public and then expecting those "deplorables" to vote for you ... doesn't actually work. (Shoot, even a leftist paper like the Guardian figured it out. See this too.)

As for me, I'm just glad that the absolute worst presidential election in living memory is finally over and that I can sort of stand to look myself in the mirror.

One more thing: Drink in the hysterical, disconsolate, Schadenfreudelicious tears of the media as it flings itself into a total meltdown.  It behaved horribly with naked bias throughout this entire business, and any good Greek tragedian would nod sagely to see that in so doing it chose the form of its destructor when it thought it was about to crown its anointed and sail into a paradise of influence peddling and cozying up to the halls of power. You made your bed. Now lie in it.

Still, let's end with a joke, shall we?  

A Tweet For Flag Day

I almost forgot!  June 14 is Flag Day. Of course the incomparable Iowahawk is on task:

#FlagDay PWN3D, haters pic.twitter.com/uM2a8gqnZw

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) June 14, 2015

Supermoon, Solar Eclipse, Vernal Equinox, March Madness, Starbucks Race Hustling, and Netanyahu Derangement Syndrome All In One Day!

Well, I guess the only thing I can do as commentary is post this Onion story. 

It's been a lunatic day, in which learning that Starbucks is actually encouraging its baristas to engage customers in discussions about race relations wasn't even the craziest thing that happened.  The inevitable backlash has, admittedly, provided its own form of Schadenfreudelicious entertainment. (Of course the incomparable Iowahawk has a quip.)

Elsewhere, my head is spinning from all the post-Israeli election howling from various people and quarters and media outlets.  I really can't take any more of it, because all the yelling and yammering has coalesced into one wordless collective shriek.  Maybe later I'll try to consider the fallout and talk about foreign policy again, but for now let's just call the furious reactions together "Netanyahu Derangement Syndrome" and let it go at that, mmmkay?

Finally, let me add: THANK GOD March Madness has finally started.  It's the only madness right now that makes any damn sense at all.  

(PS: Go, Anybody-But-Duke!)

LOL: P.J. O'Rourke and Iowahawk vs. Scottish Independence Vote

The vote on Scottish independence is today, and P.J. O'Rourke casts a characteristically sardonic and hilarious look at the prospect. This is how it starts:

We Irish don’t hate the Scots per se. They’re too much like us Irish, who all hate each other. So we’re just looking for a fine entertainment from across the Irish Sea as Highland Scots have a donnybrook with Lowland Scots, Glaswegians dust up with Edinburghians, and Clan Dewers unsheathes its claymores for battle with Clan Johnny Walker.

Iowahawk, on the hand, doesn't need to bother with writing an actual piece when he can just tweet stuff like this:

I'm worried that Scotland independence could disrupt global supplies of haggis and bagpipes.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 15, 2014

Iowahawk on Critics

I was going to say something about all those haters using the Fourth of July to bash America, but Iowahawk is so much better at commentary:

The United States of America - where our harshest critics refuse to leave.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) July 4, 2014

Quick, Name the Washington Football Team

Because obviously the government doesn't have anything else to do than mess with nomenclature:

Anyhow, it’s comforting to know that in the midst of a massive IRS scandal that makes Watergate look like child’s play and the disintegration of the Obama administration’s foreign policy in Iraq, our government is focusing on the issues that really matter: the names of professional sports teams.

I personally don't freaking care about the name of the Washington Redskins, but I do care that government's taking sides in what is basically a boutique argument about political correctness.  In any case, it's a horrible precedent.

At least people are cheerfully mocking this on Twitter with the hashtag #NewRedskinsName. My favorites so far:

Let's get rid of all references to Native Americans and rename them the Washington Elizabeth Warrens.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) June 18, 2014

My vote for the new DC NFL team name. Via: https://t.co/cj4CBwbnQs pic.twitter.com/wP58YOXBH7
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) June 18, 2014

Tweet of the Day: Iowahawk on Satellite

Satellite is supposed to crash to Earth between 1:30 and 7:00 today. Stupid cable company, never gives you a precise time.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) November 10, 2013

Tweet of the Day: Iowahawk Strikes Again

Perfect for a Sunday too:

#DavesIdeas new beer for Catholic hipsters: Papist Blue Ribbon
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) November 3, 2013

Related news here.

Putin vs. Obama in Images

You know, waaaay back in early August, before the Syrian fustercluck had really happened, Iowahawk said something that I think is well worth repeating now that we've seen how Putin played Obama like a fiddle and completely outmatched him.  At the time the tweet was mostly just a sassy quip.  Now it's not so funny, is it?

Coming up on Worldwide Wrasslin': it's Vladimir the Bear-Strangling KGB Bond Supervillain vs Gradschool McMomjeans.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) August 7, 2013

Buzzfeed just did a brutal photo comparison of the two doing photo-ops, and well, here it is, kids, because it makes Iowahawk's tweet all too concrete.  Yeah, Buzzfeed is evil and stupid and likes to steal images and links and stuff, but it just might say something about Obama's plummeting level of "cool" that even a silly, often-juvenile outfit read by undergrads who like celebrity gossip and puppies does this:

 

Unfair?  Maybe.  But not necessarily untrue in what the comparison says about the public image and reputation of these two.  I never drank the Obama Kool-Aid, so I'm looking around at colleagues and former Kool-Aid drinkers now surprised and increasingly appalled at the sort of empty suit they elected to office not just once but twice while preening in their own self-righteousness as they did.  Now the whole thing has blown up in our collective faces.  Shocker, eh?  The Putin thing is unspinnable, no matter how hard the White House spin doctors try.  Obama aside, this is bad for the country ... and everybody who thinks a world dominated by the likes of Russia, China, and Iran would be a Very Bad Thing.  Shall we end with a bitter laugh?

Sure, Putin's an iron-fisted authoritarian dictator, but you gotta admire the guy's ability to keep a straight face while pantsing Obama.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 12, 2013

Amusing Tweet Du Jour

Donald Rumsfeld is opposed to action in #Syria. DONALD RUMSFELD. That's like being told by @iowahawkblog that you drink too much. #RedFlag
— Michael James Barton (@MichaelJames357) September 3, 2013

Iowahawk on Syria

Bombing Syria to save Obama's credibility: a human sacrifice to a religious myth.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) August 30, 2013

Oh, and this other tweet, since the entire harebrained Syria idea seems to have no actual - you know - plan.  

Remember the need for "exit strategies"? Good times, good times.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) August 30, 2013

Hey, let's bomb Assad to punish him without really hurting him, and let's basically CC him all our military plans too.  Hey, let's bomb Syria with conventional weapons to prevent it from bombing Syria with chemical ones.  Hey, let's make a coalition with just us and the UK  France.  Wait, what?  Yeah.  

Sen. Tim Scott on the 50th Anniversary of MLK's Speech

Senator Tim Scott of South Carolina has written a nice little column to mark the day.  Do read.  Apparently he was not invited to speak at today's festivities in DC -  a fact I find not so much baffling as pathetically biased and blinkered on the part of the organizers.  Does the (R) after his name negate the fact that he is the only black Senator in Congress?   (Don't answer that.)

UPDATE: Iowahawk's tweet!  If you don't follow Iowahawk, you're doing Twitter wrong.

1963: you can't have that job because you're black. 2013: you can't be black because you have that job. #SenatorTimScott
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) August 28, 2013

Progress?

Quote of the Day: Iowahawk on US-Russia Relations

Sometimes satire and snark make the most incisive analysis of all, and Iowahawk is simply peerless.

Coming up on Worldwide Wrasslin': it's Vladimir the Bear-Strangling KGB Bond Supervillain vs Gradschool McMomjeans.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) August 7, 2013

There's No Way To Say "Turducken" And Sound Dignified

Thanksgiving is coming up fast, so my buddies and I have been, in person and online, been happily obsessing about recipes.  The one that's always both fascinated and horrified me is turducken, so let's just say this is pure madness and a thing that spawns madness too. So here are three takes on this monstrosity:

I.   An actual recipe for the Ultimate Turducken.  Overengineer that sucker to oblivion!

II.  OUR LONG NATIONAL NIGHTMARE IS OVER: OH THANK GOD, THE USDA IS HERE WITH A GOVERNMENT-SPONSORED TURDUCKEN PROTOCOL TO END THE NATIONWIDE EPIDEMIC OF PEOPLE GETTING SICK FROM HOMEMADE TURDUCKEN COOKED WITHOUT GOVERNMENT SUPERVISION. WE'RE SAVED!  *throws handfuls of dry stuffing mix like confetti*

III.  The incomparable Iowahawk mashes up Churchill, Petraeus, Benghazi, and turkey into this hilarity:

Murder, wrapped inside a government cover-up, wrapped inside an extramarital affair: Benghazi is the Turducken of scandals.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) November 15, 2012

Ouch: #LetThemEatMarathons on Twitter

Bloomberg's decision not to cancel the New York City Marathon is catching a lot of flack from all sorts of people (like the glorious Iowahawk via Twitter - here's just one example) and even some of the marathoners themselves.  Really, Bloomberg, the optics are horrible, especially since Staten Island is in such dire straits. Meanwhile, the #LetThemEatMarathons hashtag on Twitter is being used a lot by understandably outraged people.

UPDATE: 

We have decided to cancel the NYC marathon. The New York Road Runners will have additional information in days ahead for participants.
— NYC Mayor's Office (@NYCMayorsOffice) November 2, 2012

Public Service Announcement: Iowahawk on Twitter

If you're not following the incomparable Iowahawk on Twitter, you're missing one of the most sublimely hilarious experiences ever in 140 characters or fewer.

Quote of the Day: Iowahawk on the Supreme Court Obamacare Decision

The Supreme Court finally announces today, and as usual, the hilarious Iowahawk nails it:

As a longtime connoisseur of overwrought political hysterics, it's CHRISTMAS MORNING.

It's going to be an uproarious day. Time to make a huge tub of popcorn, kick back, and watch the pageant of crazy from all sides.  


UPDATE:  The individual mandate survives ... as a tax.  I still hate it and the coercion of it, just as I oppose an increasingly overweening, overbearing national government that's perfectly happy to run roughshod over ... well, everybody.  How about instead of moaning and wailing, we repeal and replace this monster?

UPDATE 2: Dignified Rant has some thoughts.  Law prof Althouse will soon be doing a full analysis of today's decision (she's reading it now), but for now she notes that it's a huge tax on the middle class.  Well, apparently now ObamaCare can claim to cover both death and taxes, eh?  Law prof Instapundit also has thoughts and links.  Oh, and here are 4 excellent sentences from the dissenting opinion.

Satire Alert: Remy Vs. the Clint Eastwood Super Bowl Spot

Take a look at the delightful Remy's latest effort - a parody of the Eastwood "Halftime in America" TV spot that I had me rolling my eyes and longing for stupid beer commercials.  Remy, you deserve your own blog category tag!  UPDATE: IOWAHAWK!

Go ahead.  Make my day bailout.

Monday Therapy: Misremembered Movie Quotes

The wits and wags are out in force on Twitter.  Iowahawk is there .... and displaying his usual brilliance (see this and this, for example).

Satire Alert: Iowahawk on the Debt Crisis

The title should come with playful apologies to Shakespeare's Julius Caesar: "Default, dear Brutus, is not in our stars but in ourselves."  Brilliant.  Well, anyway, it's August 2, that much-ballyhooed date of recent days.  Oh, and John Scalzi's Debtpocalypse poll is darn funny too.