Satire Alert: The Onion On Political Pandering

I laughed out loud: "Newly Redesigned HillaryClinton.com Allows Users To Fully Customize Issues Page To Suit Own Preferences."

Supermoon, Solar Eclipse, Vernal Equinox, March Madness, Starbucks Race Hustling, and Netanyahu Derangement Syndrome All In One Day!

Well, I guess the only thing I can do as commentary is post this Onion story. 

It's been a lunatic day, in which learning that Starbucks is actually encouraging its baristas to engage customers in discussions about race relations wasn't even the craziest thing that happened.  The inevitable backlash has, admittedly, provided its own form of Schadenfreudelicious entertainment. (Of course the incomparable Iowahawk has a quip.)

Elsewhere, my head is spinning from all the post-Israeli election howling from various people and quarters and media outlets.  I really can't take any more of it, because all the yelling and yammering has coalesced into one wordless collective shriek.  Maybe later I'll try to consider the fallout and talk about foreign policy again, but for now let's just call the furious reactions together "Netanyahu Derangement Syndrome" and let it go at that, mmmkay?

Finally, let me add: THANK GOD March Madness has finally started.  It's the only madness right now that makes any damn sense at all.  

(PS: Go, Anybody-But-Duke!)

The Onion on Thanksgiving Traditions

This one hits all too close to home, given the travel woes plaguing millions of folks thanks to snowy weather.

Satire Alert: "Everyone In Middle East Given Own Country In 317,000,000-State Solution"

Since the Middle East is going up in flames and the much-ballyhooed 2-state solution doesn't seem to be feasible, the humorists at the Onion have another proposal.

World Cup 2014: Germany Wins It All!

Die Mannschaft beat Argentina 1-0 and the Germans are now the Weltmeister.  I was also amused by the various sartorial antics of the fans, not to mention this comment on the president of the hilariously corrupt FIFA and his companions:

Angela Merkel at the World Cup with a venal, authoritarian leader. And Vladimir Putin is there too. pic.twitter.com/otQ2nskfG5
— Shashank Joshi (@shashj) July 13, 2014

Since this IS 2014 and no event is complete without a selfie or two, here you go. The selfie game is strong with this one.

AHA! pic.twitter.com/iK5hbfm7Hr
— Lukas-Podolski.com (@Podolski10) July 13, 2014

Selfie 2…:-) pic.twitter.com/RJh7RnXXUw
— Lukas-Podolski.com (@Podolski10) July 13, 2014

Congratulations to the Germans!

UPDATE: The Onion comments hilariously.

A Tale of Two Humorists: The Onion and the MFA

Oh, MFA. Who knew you had such a sense of humor?

Forgetting Tiananmen Square

It's been 25 years, and three new books consider how it has been suppressed.  If you're in a hurry, you can jot down the titles of the books and take a look later:

• The People’s Republic of Amnesia: Tiananmen Revisited, by Louisa Lim, OUP USA
• Tiananmen Exiles: Voices of the Struggle for Democracy in China, by Rowena Xiaoqing He, Palgrave Macmillan
• Age of Ambition: Chasing Fortune, Truth and Faith in the New China, by Evan Osnos, Bodley Head

Well, here we're not forgetting!  Please take a look at:

• NatGeo's story of two photographers (twin brothers!) who were there
• (still imprisoned Nobel Peace Prize winner) Liu Xiaobo's poem from his collection June 4 Elegies
• Another poem inspired by those events
• How a gangster became a savior: the story of the Triad who helped smuggle 100+ dissidents to safety after the massacre
• Footage of Tiananmen survivors telling their stories at the House Foreign Affairs subcommittee; one is Chai Ling, founder of All Girls Allowed, an organization combatting gendercide in China.
• The world's first Tiananmen museum that has opened in Hong Kong
• Demonstrations in Hong Kong and Taiwan

25 years ago I was only a child watching the news on TV, and from that year I remember two overwhelming feelings that were so intense that they probably shaped my adult take on foreign relations more than I realize: 1989 was defined by the joy of the fall of the Berlin Wall with all its jubilant crowds ... and the absolute, stomach-churning horror of Tiananmen Square.  God, what kind of monstrous, despicable, (what the hell, let's use the word and call a spade a spade) evil government sends its tanks and troops to mow down unarmed students?  And you wonder why I practically have an allergic reaction to people saying that Taiwan should be part of China. 

UPDATE: The Onion nails it again.

Buh-Bye, Jay Carney

The White House press secretary is leaving, and the best commentary I have on this is to link to the Onion's satirical piece written in the guise of Carney: "Well, Time To Go Out In Front Of A Bunch Of People And Lie To Them."

Satire Alert: "Budget Woes Force Heaven To Reduce Eternal Life To 500 Billion Years"

Oh, Onion. Still making me laugh after all these years.

Satire Alert: OUCH

The Onion is ruthless with its new headline: "FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States."   Here's a piece of it:

“We have intercepted electronic communication indicating that al-Qaeda members are actively plotting to stay out of the way while America as we know it gradually crumbles under the weight of its own self-inflicted debt and disrepair,” FBI Deputy Director Mark F. Giuliano told the assembled press corps. “If this plan succeeds, it will leave behind a nation with a completely dysfunctional economy, collapsing infrastructure, and a catastrophic health crisis afflicting millions across the nation. We want to emphasize that this danger is very real.” 

... A recently declassified CIA report confirmed that all known al-Qaeda-affiliated organizations—from Pakistan to Yemen, and from Somalia to Algeria—have been instructed to kick back and enjoy the show as the United States’ federal government, energy grid, and industrial sector are rendered impotent by internal dissent, decay, and mismanagement.

Satire Alert: The Onion vs. College Admissions

Does this kind of savagely incisive truth-telling even count as satire anymore?

The Onion on Student Loan Debt

ZING!

"Conservative Friend Annoyingly Not Racist": The Onion Nails Liberal Bias

As usual, you often get the best commentary from humorous and satirical sources.  Take a look.  This is supposed to be satire but nearly not.

Satire Alert: "Terrified Obama Trapped Inside Healthcare.gov Website"

The Onion strikes again, taking an easy shot at the website debacle.

Denial Is Not Just A River in Egypt

This speaks for itself, really:  Obama at the UN said that the world is a more stable place than it was 5 years ago.  We're living in the total defiance of reality, people.

How bad is bad?  Even the New York Times said he was "a somewhat diminished American president who faced a skeptical audience."  You don't say!

The Onion's mockery is now online.

Satire Alert: The Onion on Syria and Congress

I can't tell the difference between the Onion's fake news and actual reality anymore.  Here's the headline: "Majority of Americans Approve of Sending Congress to Syria."

In Praise of the Onion

Heh.

The Onion Vs. Assad

As usual, humorists seem to have a better grip on reality.  This is satire yet all too perilously close to the real world.

Satire Alert: The Onion on Syria

Sometimes it takes satire to make a point about reality: "Obama Deeply Concerned After Syrians Gassed To Death On White House Lawn."

Satire Alert: "Report: Economy Just One Speech Away From Recovery"

The Onion takes a potshot at Obama's now-tiresome windbaggery.