Killjoy Thermomaniac Watermelons Vs. Coffee

Oh, for crying out loud! My jokes about "Satan Coffee" are JOKES. Of course, Greenies have no sense of humor. Some of them honestly seem to think that coffee is an enviro-sin. A blurb:

Dr Dave Reay, a world-renowned expert on carbon emissions, has calculated that filter coffees pump 50 per cent more carbon into the atmosphere than cheaper instant coffees.

And he says that ditching expensive filter coffees could help reduce your carbon footprint by the same amount as a gas-guzzling flight across Europe.

Dr Reay, a senior lecturer in carbon management at Edinburgh University, claims that the average cup of black filter coffee is responsible for 125 grams of carbon emissions. But the figure for a regular cup of black instant coffee is around 80g.

I have a reply: "YOU FIRST."

As awesome Aussie Tim Blair sarcastically comments about this in context with a bunch of other "do this or the Earth will die!" directives from the enviro-fringe: "Dull lights, slow cars, no meat … and rubbish coffee. Greentopia will be such a fun place to live."

So far this morning, I've already added 250 grams of coffee carbon to the earth, and I'M JUST GETTING STARTED. If loving coffee is wrong, then I don't want to be right. Sure, Greenies, you can have my good coffee ... when you pry it out of my cold, dead hand!

Never gonna give you up,
. . .
Never gonna say goodbye!