Check out this "dictionary" for online dating. What's the link between self-chosen labels and the reality? Here are a few examples:
WHAT WOMEN REALLY MEANFIERY Psychotic. Cancel a date with this girl and you'll come home to find your car has been keyed and all the sleeves have been cut off your shirts.
VIVACIOUS Aggressive. An opinionated finger-jabber. She's got views on everything and she's not afraid to ram them forcefully down your throat.
GREAT PERSONALITY Ugly as sin. If a woman is selling her personality, then her face looks good in a paper bag.
ARTISTIC Drama Queen. Welcome to a world of slamming doors, smashed crockery and huffy silences.
LIVES LIFE TO THE FULL Alcoholic. Likes to start the day with a couple of Bacardi Breezers. Happy Hour is her favourite time of day.
I'M INTO WHIRLWIND ROMANCES My visa runs out in 10 days and if I don't get married I'll be deported.
WHAT MEN REALLY MEANOLD FASHIONED Male chauvinist pig. A woman's place is in the home and, more precisely, the kitchen - preferably cooking his meals and elbow deep in his dirty shirts.
TRADITIONAL Patronising. He'll order for you in a restaurant and pat you on the bottom and say 'don't you worry your pretty head about it' when you ask him about his day.
MANLY Hairy. Only to be pursued if you like men who moult all over your furniture.
INDEPENDENT Lying, cheating commitment-phobic scum.
UNCONVENTIONAL Insane. The sort of person you cross the road to avoid, even if the road is the M1 in the rush hour.
Hilarious!
3 comments:
You know, the (but only prima vista) funny thing is, that German employers need such expressions badly for issuing job references, since according to German jurisdiction, there is no such thing as a negative job reference. Hence, former employees are described as "talkative" (which means he is as lazy as Dilbert's colleague Wally), "sociable" (which means he is an unreliable boozer) or "outgoing, especially towards female co-workers" (which means he has a history of sexual harassment issues).
Oh, my! ;-)
My preference for fiery, artistic women would explain a lot. Many years too late to do me any good, sad to say!
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