London Olympic Watch: Humorous Suggestions for London Opening Ceremony

From a link via Ninme comes this amusing bit from a Brit:

China set the tone for this year’s Olympics with its breathtaking opening ceremony on Friday and, in the process, created a problem for the London 2012 team. Barely had the final firework spluttered before British officials were studying their wallets gloomily and playing down expectations. So, as Dame Jade Goody and Sir Jonathan Ross guide viewers through the 2012 ceremony, what will be unfolding in front of them? How can we show the traditions and authentic face of modern Britain? China can keep its kung-fu performers. We will surprise the world with an imaginative display of dancing health and safety inspectors, their yellow reflective jackets glittering in the spotlights. The stage will then clear to reveal an Islamic dance troupe, fully veiled, who will take us through the highlights of our history, apologising after each incident to any nations we might have inadvertently offended. The proceedings will end with a lavish and ceremonial display of binge drinking. And if the caretaker comes in halfway through to lock up because orders is orders - then all the better.

*Giggle.*