Schadenfreude Alert: Humorous Letter By Bank Customer

That witty Eric D. Snider has a hilarious open letter to his bank, Washington Mutual. Here's a piece of it:

Dear Washington Mutual,

. . . I'm writing to you because it seems that you are in desperate straits, and I want to point and laugh at your misfortune the way you have frequently pointed and laughed at mine. Like many banks, you have been struggling because of the recent problems on Wall Street, which I do not pretend to understand. Well, that's not entirely accurate. I do pretend to understand them. I nod my head and frown thoughtfully when I read news articles about the crisis, but secretly I'm thinking about Hot Pockets, and how I would like to eat some.

Now comes the news that you, Washington Mutual, have FAILED! In fact, you are the biggest bank failure in HISTORY! Panicked customers withdrew $16.7 billion in just 10 days, making you no longer solvent, and the federal government had to step in and seize you. Then JPMorgan Chase purchased your entire company for a scant $1.9 billion. If no buyer had been found and you'd collapsed entirely, you would have nearly depleted the FDIC's insurance funds. In short, you are a burden on society and an embarrassment to the banking community. You are the Kevin Federline of banks.

"The Kevin Federline of banks"! *Giggle*