Sunday, August 31, 2008

UK: "No Excuses For Fat Children"

Apparently inflicting celebri-chef Jamie Oliver on the poor innocent schoolchildren of Great Britain is not enough torment for the little ones. Note the expression on that wretched kid's face as he's forced to eat one of Oliver's "new and improved healthy" school lunches. I'm sure he'd escape if he could -- but he's injured! Look at his bandaged wrist. Maybe that's why he's the only kid in the lunchroom. As for Oliver, culinary annoyance extraordinaire . . . Gee, I feel the need to run out and get some fish and chips just to spite him, don't you? As in, RIGHT NOW.



Some genius politician (a Tory, BTW) has stated that there should be "no excuses for fat children" and he also thinks that kids should face peer pressure to be healthy and thin. Oh, sir, there is already plenty of peer pressure. Have you ever BEEN to a schoolyard at playtime? Kids can be viciously creative in their name-calling. "Fatso" is a name that is hoary with history and tradition.

Besides, peer pressure is a ludicrous motivator. Personally, I'm a contrarian who will automatically balk at doing something just because everybody else is doing it and pressuring me to do likewise.

So in answer to the idea that there should be no excuses for fat children, I humbly submit that there should be no excuses for stupid politicians. Hopeless dream, I know. (Will I have more luck with no excuses for Jamie Oliver? Oh, please, please, can I have a cage match between Oliver and Gordon Ramsay? I can haz shef smakdoun? It's ALL I want for Christmas!)

Also: I wonder how the school obesity campaign will mesh with the school self-esteem campaign. "Oh, Sally/Tommy, you're perfectly OK just as you are . . . except that you're a shameful lardbutt who will eventually become an unbearable strain on the NHS, so you better lose those extra kilos *NOW* or face the wrath and ostracism of your more enlightened and superior peers. This message has been approved by the Nanny Government of Great Britain, where school bullying is OK if it's done for your own good." Ummm, yeah.

Hey, where are the PARENTS in all this?

UPDATE: Observation from La Parisienne: "There's already enough peer pressure! Why do you think there are so many eating disorders???"

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

"...I humbly submit that there should be no excuses for stupid politicians."

Woah - epiphany here. Maybe we could use peer pressure on them! And, maybe we could require them to wear "threat level" tags w/ colors that correspond to their level of stupidity? I'm kinda liking this idea.

I'm in favor of adding public advocates to watch over judges, and allowing them to declare 'open season' on a judge for truly idiotic or spiteful legal decisions. This declaration would make it legal to tar and feather the offending judge, so no assault charges could be filed, etc.

What else could we do?

Pat Patterson said...

I think that maybe politicians should be required not to wear threat level badges(though a pretty good idea) but have to carry silver leper's bells and obviously vigorously ring them, often. Of course in Sen. Byrd's case he can have someone else carry the bell and ring it for him. Just as a courtesy to the rest of us, so to speak.

Anonymous said...

Hmm. Maybe whenever they speak in public, they should be required to hold up a public safety warning, maybe along the lines of:

"Warning: Politician. Listener discretion is advised. What you are hearing may or may not resemble reality. Parental consent and guidance required for listeners under the age of 18."

Mad Minerva said...

You guys crack me up.