Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The HopeChange Chronicles and Demotivator Commentary: Stimulus Bill Cheerleadering Disguised as Press Conference

I didn't catch the entire Obama press conference last night, but a few things seemed to stand out.

1. The endless potshots at the previous administration -- such eloquent-sounding blame-flinging. Way to go for setting a new tone, guy. HOPECHANGE!

2. The statement that, basically, "government is the answer." Heck, NO! I'm with The Reagan, who said that government is the problem.

3. The face of self-confessed massive tax cheater Tim Geithner didn't make me feel any warm fuzzies about his economic rescue ideas.

4. Even in the middle of FINANCIALAPOCALYPSEWE'REALLGOINGTODIE, one reporter still asked Obama's opinion about A-Rod's baseball steroid use. Ah, priorities! Thank goodness baseball is still America's pastime -- though I guess these days tax-cheating is a close competitor among the political elite. Oops, did I say that out loud?

5. Did somebody actually use the term "TARP 2"? It sounds like a horror-flick sequel -- and one worse than its predecessor. Hey, wait! It *IS*! Life imitates the movies?

6. And, of course, the starry eyes, pixie dust, and dancing baby unicorns of campaign HOPECHANGE have turned into flat-out fearmongering: pass this pork-tastic stimulus bill or we're going to have (and I quote) a "catastrophe." GOT THAT? CATASTROPHE. Why does this sound like a desperate attempt to use a serious situation as an excuse to run roughshod over concerns about the bill that may or may not actually do what's necessary? OK, people, who's fearmongering now?

7. Helen Thomas. That garrulous, abrasive old dinosaur will outlast every president until the end of time, I swear.

Anyway, I must be off to campus. Here is a demotivator for you, my dears -- my take on the knee-jerk reaction of all the fearmongerish terminology. CRISIS! CATASTROPHE! HOPECHANGE!

Because everyone knows that you make all your best thoughtful, careful decisions about serious economic circumstances affecting millions of people when you're in a state of
total screaming freakout panic.

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