Thursday, February 12, 2009

Satire Alert: Scientists Discover Largest Number

Iowahawk strikes again -- and brilliantly. Here is a piece of it, but do go read the whole thing.

PALO ALTO, CA - An international mathematics research team announced today that they had discovered a new integer that surpasses any previously known value "by a totally mindblowing sh*tload." Project director Yujin Xiao of Stanford University said the theoretical number, dubbed a "stimulus," could lead to breakthroughs in fields as diverse as astrophysics, quantum mechanics, and Chicago asphalt contracting.

"Unlike previous large numbers like the Googleplex or the Bazillionty, the Stimulus has no static numerical definition," said Xiao. "It keeps growing and growing, compounding factorially, eating up all zeros in its path. It moves freely across Cartesian dimensions and has the power to make any other number irrational."

. . . "The exciting news is that with more powerful computers and drugs, we believe we are on the verge of discovering an even larger number, which we refer to as a 'stimulusconferencebill,'" said Xiao. "Speaker Pelosi has already promised us the funding."

Now I'm not sure if Iowahawk did this on purpose, but the word "xiao" in Mandarin Chinese means "little" or "small." Yes, really!

UPDATE: Wheat and Weeds has the Disney/pop culture joke to go with this: "To Infinity and Beyond!" Yep.

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