Satire Alert: "A Happy Day in the Life of an Ordinary Chinese Person"

This is hilarious. The Chinese original was translated by Professor Christopher Hughes of the London School of Economics and Political Science. Here's a piece of it:

I pick up the toothpaste with its slight traces of the chemical Triclosan and let it react in my mouth with the chlorinated tap water to produce carcinogenic Trichloromethane. I always eat well in the morning and after using the carcinogenic toothpaste I wipe my face with the Benzidine contaminated towel, have a cup of Melamine polluted milk, eat some fried bread sticks (youtiao) cooked in diesel, dipped in some chile source dyed with Sudan Red, added to a bowl of duck egg gruel with poison rice and egg with large amounts of Lead Oxide, not forgetting of
course to add some condiments made with chemical ingredients.