Kitchen Notes: Know Your Rice

After all, there are many different kinds of rice, and each one has its own character. Here is a very useful explanation. Note the photographs.

My favorite for everyday cooking is the fantastic jasmine rice from Thailand. It's the family favorite also.

There are also other kinds of rice that do not appear in the blog post. These are less common and include some crazy-looking kinds that come in different colors. I bought some red rice once in Chinatown because I was curious. (Verdict: it was good to try something new, but I wouldn't buy it again.)

Rice is fundamental to much of Asian culinary culture -- and culture in general. In Taiwanese, for instance, we have not one, but two words for "rice." One word means "uncooked rice," and the other means "cooked rice." Yes, rice is THAT important. The entire phrase for "eat" actually translates as "eat rice." And the delicious traditional breakfast includes rice porridge (make it with leftover rice from the day before; "waste not, want not").

Trivia: rice only grows in hot, wet conditions. Northern China is too cold for rice farming. Up there, people have eaten millet and wheat -- and wheat in the form of flour that's made into steamed buns (manto).

As for cooking: Don't listen to the blog post's instructions for cooking rice on the stove. Get a real rice cooker. It's much easier. You put in the rice and water, push the "on" button, and then walk away. While the rice is cooking, you can stir-fry your meat and vegetables; save time! In about 20-30 minutes, the rice is cooked, and a huge fragrant cloud of steam rolls out when you take off the lid. Aaaaaaaahhhh . . . Rice cookers come in a million varieties from the completely basic to the technologically super-advanced (by the Japanese, of course).

More trivia: wild rice is not actually rice. It's a related kind of grass. Still yummy, though. It's also the state grain of the state of Minnesota. (Who knew?)

FYI, this is not rice. This is a culinary desecration. I shall not even mention its name on my blog!

Beijing Olympic Watch: Taiwan Racks Up Its First Medal of 2008

Congratulations to Chen Wei-ling, who won a bronze in women's weightlifting in the 48 kg category. It is Taiwan's first (and so far, only) medal in these Games.

She trained by bench-pressing copies of my dissertation. Just kidding!

Here is her photo from the Taipei Times:

Beijing Olympic Watch: The Opening Ceremony

First of all, just let me say, humorous Aussie blogger Tim Blair live-blogged the ceremony -- with often hilarious results. My favorite quip? "The deadly Chinese martial art of tai chi. Not to be confused with the pleasant Indian drink, chai tea."

May you never change, Tim.

You know, I should have live-blogged too, but I was trying to do about three things at the same time, so I just took notes. Here are my impressions in more or less chronological order. I was watching the primetime NBC broadcast, with commentators Bob Costas and Matt Lauer. I missed a bit of it, but since the ceremony lasted 3 hours, what are a few minutes here and there? Here goes, snarky commentary and all because I can't help poking fun at anything as bloated and bombastic as three-hour-long ceremonies. If it's any consolation, I made fun of the Athens opener too.


~I know that the massive new stadium is now a symbol for Chinese national pride and all that, but frankly, I just don't like the architecture of the "Bird's Nest." It looks . . . messy and unfinished. Either that, or a big, overflowing plate of steel fettuccine. The thought occurs to me that in Chinese cuisine, "bird's-nest soup"is a delicacy. But do you know what that soupy bird's-nest is made of? The hardened saliva of a cliff-dwelling swallow. Really! Huh. Maybe that explains something about the Bird's Nest stadium?

~The "footsteps of history" fireworks are a nice idea, but the execution looks goofy. As Tim Blair said, the "footsteps" looked like pork chops. Hm. No word on the applesauce.

~The camera swoops over the audience. There's Bush talking to Putin. I can't help thinking about Georgia. Bush looks uncomfortably hot (well, the stadium was over 80 degrees), Laura Bush looks as elegant as ever, Putin looks cadaverous, but the most stylish dignitary is probably Nicolas Sarkozy. It must be some French fashion thing. But wait! Sarko's lacking his most famous fashion accessory. Where's Carla Bruni?

~The Olympic rings rise from the floor of the stadium. They look very delicate, actually. Quite lovely.

~Children representing the 56 official ethnic groups of China march in, each wearing his/her ethnic costume. Very colorful, very cute. I was lulled into a sense of warm fuzzies -- but soon I got a cold water shower, because the xiao haizi passed the spotlight to a group of stiffly goose-stepping soldiers. Call me crazy, but I simply tend to be hostile toward goose-stepping soldiers of any autocratic state.

~I was expecting Western journalists to say all sorts of goofy things during the broadcast, but hearing Lauer explain the "meaning" of the kids and the troops was bizarre. He was blithely talking -- and I'm not sure he even knew what he was saying or what implications it could have. He said that the scene represented how "the state will guarantee the future of these children" because in the past, sometimes "the state wasn't able to do that." Good grief. Statist propaganda is alive and well.

~Want more statist-sounding propaganda? Now it's time for the anthem. The name is "March of the Volunteers." Eyes roll. I half-expect Lauer to wax lyrical about the workers' paradise and the glorious proletarian revolution against the evil exploiting capitalists and their running dogs. Come on. "March of the Volunteers"? Can you get any more old-school Communist-sounding than that? Hey, do the spectators each get their very own hammer and sickle to wave while singing? Marx, Lenin, and Mao action figures? OK, OK, I'll stop now.

~The artistic portion of the ceremony begins with the unrolling of a gigantic scroll. It's actually a huge LED screen. That's some pretty cool tech. I'd probably think it was cooler if not for the reporters gasping about how awesome Chinese technology is. Sure, the tech is cool and everything, but if you want to talk about tech overall, you look at Japan and the US. But who cares? There's Matt Lauer having a tech-gasm on the air. Stop it, Matt. You're embarrassing yourself.

~Here come a huge number of Confucians! What neat costumes. I'm smiling rather ironically, though, because the Chinese Communists haven't always been so fond of Confucius. Now, though, the CCP is going hoarse shouting about "harmony" every three seconds. Oh, and the headdresses on the performers are hilarious. Do they look a little bit like huge paintbrushes? Will the Confucians then do handstands and write calligraphy with their heads? No? Aw, that would've been something to see.

~Matt Lauer again: "The Chinese invented paper and printing!!!" Yes, Matt. By the way, who invented democracy? Just asking.

~A thought occurs to me. The last summer games took place in Athens, cradle of Western democracy. The current ones are taking place in Beijing, home of the CCP. Isn't the juxtaposition a little . . . striking?

~The reporters are talking about the Chinese political doctrine and buzzword of the "harmonious society." OK, it's political rhetoric, but I'm rolling my eyes anyway because -- well, I won't burden you with a rant about just how "harmonious" things actually are. One commentator does say that China has tremendous challenges with "disharmonious" elements. He lists a few examples: "the environment, urbanization." Shall we add a few more? The huge and growing gap between rich and poor, urban and rural . . . Human rights abuses . . . Land confiscations in an increasingly desperate rural hinterland . . . The crushing of dissent . . .

~A thought occurs to me. Am I really, as Lauer described some protesters, a "party crasher" because I'm pointing out unpleasant things in the middle of the Olympic festival? Am I just a horrible human being? Should I just shut up this one time? But is it ever really OK to shut up about human rights abuses just to keep the abuser happy? I point out also: my problem is not with the Chinese people. My problem is specifically with the government in Beijing. Let's be very clear. I hope the Chinese athletes do well, as I hope all athletes from every nation do well because they've all worked very hard to become Olympians and they're all human beings, individuals. But I'm really wary of the Beijing's brand of rah-rah Chinese chauvinism that refuses to brook any criticism at all.

~The huge display of moving blocks in the stadium is darn cool. The Great Wall! I thought it was maybe mechanized in part, but then a human being pops out of each block like a jack-in-a-box! The blocks turning into pretty pink plum flowers was nice too. (But I'm a historian, and I couldn't help thinking, as a pile of blossoms appeared, of the phrase "let a hundred flowers bloom" . . . Well, we all know what happened after that.)

~The march through ancient Chinese history goes on. The Tang Dynasty! Gorgeous costuming on the dancer. I've always wanted a Tang-style outfit. (But where could I possibly wear that thing? Anywhere I might want to strangle someone with my sleeves.)

~Very cool representation of Zheng He and his ships. Hey, maybe China's the only place where you can say to a ship captain, "Your ship's JUNK," and it wouldn't be an insult. As for Zheng He, he gets fame as a Chinese Columbus -- which might make up for the fact that he was a eunuch . . .

~Bob Costas, who does have a snarky, sarcastic streak to him, finally lets it show. Lauer is talking about a group of female dancers and their hand movements. Lauer can't seem to stop going on and on about how elegant, how precise, how meaningful each and every little gesture is! And not just in the dance, he says, it's true in everyday life too! In China, every gesture is significant and beautiful . . .

The eyes roll! Then next thing I know, Costas interrupts Lauer with a cheerful, sarcastic question: "So if I go to a McDonald's here, they'll give me a Big Mac with conspicuous elegance??"

Lauer, after a moment's silence: "Maybe for you."

Me, thrilled: I (HEART) BOB COSTAS!

~The ceremony's representation of Chinese history jumps to the 1970s. Hm, seems a bit convenient, but hey, who didn't expect the spectacle to gloss over various unpleasantries? But the commentators then said something about the "new China" that made me laugh bitterly. The quote? This was the moment of "individuals deciding on the lives they wanted to live for themselves."

Oh, and that's fine, as long as you didn't decide to live the life of a dissident or a human rights activist or a Christian who didn't want a state-sponsored church or a journalist who asked too many questions or a student who demonstrated for democracy in 1989 . . . Well, you get the idea. And what about the countless numbers of rural poor Chinese displaced for various building projects? What about the lives they want to live?

(I had told La Parisienne that I would watch the ceremonies until the bombast and prostrate Western media kowtowing finally made me vomit, and then I'd go watch something else. This was when I almost turned channels, but I stayed despite everything because, by golly, I wanted to see my favorite part of every Olympic opener, the Parade of Nations.)

~Lauer again: "The Chinese invented the kite!!" Lauer is a total gibbering fanboy.

~The kite was pretty, though, and the little girl on it was cute as a button. Was I ever that young?

~Wow, thousands of guys wearing suits with light bulbs all over them! Wait! Are those the new ecologically-friendly light bulbs???? I'm sure the Greenies will be howling. The light-bulb brigade arranges itself (quite remarkably) into the shape of the stadium. Neat.

~Tai chi masters take over the stadium floor. They're amazingly organized. There are 2008 of them, and they move with enough precision to make any real marching-band-nerd proud.

~Oh, the obligatory shout-out to environmentalism, etc. Kids and tai chi masters and harmony between man and nature. Commentators burbling on and on about "sustainable development." You know, call me a cynic, but it'd all be more convincing if China weren't the biggest polluter in the world, and Beijing one of the worst air-polluted cities on the planet. I'm just sayin'.

~FINALLY, THE PARADE OF NATIONS!!!!

~Wait! The order of the nations is all goofy. They're not marching by any alphabet. They're coming in by the number of brush strokes in the Chinese character for their name. Whose bright idea was this? Whatever.

~A few highlights from the parade . . .
=I love seeing colorful national costumes. The African nations make everyone else look totally boring.
=The Bermuda athletes are wearing (what else?) Bermuda shorts.
=Some of the contingents are dressed to kill. Some are casual, some are dapper, and the French and Italians are . . . well, French and Italian.
=Here come the Spaniards, loud and proud. They're having a ridiculously good year in sport this year. Spaniards won the Euro soccer championship; ditto Spanish victories in the Tour de France and Wimbledon. Hey, even the Spaniards' shoes are red. Dyed in the blood of their vanquished athletic foes!!! I'm KIDDING.
=Why does a bagpipe version of "Scotland the Brave" keep playing????
=Those dancing Chinese cheerleaders in the boots have a job I don't envy. Are they really going to smile and wave and shimmy for an hour and more? Poor things. In those boots, too. Give them all spa pedicures!!
=Here come the Aussies! Maybe I'm just indulging a stereotype, but the grinning Aussie contingent always seems like it's full of such great people. People you'd happily invite to a backyard barbecue and play darts with.
=Lithuania! I'm expecting basketball glory, guys!
="Chinese Taipei" again. I'll spare you my usual snarl about the pernicious fiction of the name. The team from Taiwan has some medal hopes, and the table tennis team could be very good. The reporters spend a few more minutes on Taiwan, saying that the tension between the island and mainland has eased since the election of Ma. But that's such a simplistic "explanation." Still, I guess I should be happy that Lauer and Costas even knew that much.
="Palestine" marches as a nation with its own flag. But Taiwan doesn't get to do so. International politics stink.
=The Hungarians are here. The men look fine, but what . . . What in the name of all that is holy are the Hungarian women wearing?? White jackets and skirts covered with . . . red splotches? They look like they'd all just survived multiple gunshot wounds, but hey, they're still going to compete!
=The Americans march in behind the flagbearer, Lopez Lomong, a former refugee from Sudan who now competes as an American in track and field. That's just awesome. The American dream is alive and well.
=The Chinese march in, to the thunderous applause of the spectators. Flagbearer? It's Yao Ming, probably the most recognizable Chinese athlete anywhere -- certainly in the US where he plays NBA basketball for the Houston Rockets. And he seems, in his interviews, like such a nice guy. With him is a tiny little boy, survivor of the Sichuan earthquake who helped rescue some of his classmates. What a tale!

~Can we light the flame already and get on with it? Blah blah blah for official speeches, IOC-speak, yadda yadda yadda. More goose-stepping PLA soldiers. The torch enters and gets passed among about a gazillion different people. My attention span has long since been exceeded. I'm tired. The final leg of the torch, a swooping airborne turn around the stadium, would have been spectacular if the previous three freaking hours hadn't worn me out. But finally, FLAME ON! Not quite Barcelona's unbelievable torch lighting in 1992, but not bad at all! There's something kind of pagan about a gigantic cauldron of fire, but hey! Why not? I hope the ceremony organizers make S'mores for everyone.

~Fireworks. MM loooooooooves fireworks. I half-expect Lauer to shriek out "The Chinese invented fireworks!!!" but he doesn't.

Enough already! Let's have some sport, shall we? It's off to the most popular Olympic sporting event of all: medal-counting.

Good night, everybody!

Georgia and Russia: Fighting Escalates over South Ossetia

While the world's been distracted by the Olympic fanfare, the Caucasus has burst into flames as Georgia and Russia come to blows over South Ossetia. Amid all the glittering Olympic rhetoric of world unity and whatnot, this is a harsh dose of brutal reality. The ancient Greeks, always a scrappy lot that fought each other as much they fought non-Greeks, at least had the idea of the "Olympic truce" to suspend hostilities while the Games were in session. No such luck for modern Games. The "truce" today is simply an idea, and one that looks increasingly naive.

Some things to consider about the current conflict: How much of the Caucasus fighting is really about South Ossetian separatists per se and how much is really about Russia flexing its muscles and wanting to hold/expand its sphere of influence? Georgia is, you'll recall, a US ally that has pro-Western leanings and a desire to join NATO.

Time to send in the clowns -- I mean, the diplomats.

UPDATE 1: I was half-joking with my shot at diplomats, but then I read this bit in a fresh report: "On Friday evening, the UN Security Council failed to agree on the wording of a statement calling for a ceasefire." *snort of derision* What a waste of space the Security Council is.

UPDATE 2: TigerHawk has more, with links.

UPDATE 3: Professor-blogger James Joyner thinks about South Ossetia in the context of Kosovo.

UPDATE 4: It is also, like most modern conflicts, a war of the media and information.

Australia: Eat Kangaroo and Save the World!

Ooooh, yummy kangaroo! I'll have mine marinated and grilled teriyaki style, please. Hang on, I'm only kidding! Or am I?

Some Aussie environmentalists have a really quirky idea about how to save the world. I wonder what the animal rights people will say! Heck, I wonder what the kangaroos have to say.

UPDATE: I actually did find some real recipes for kangaroo. There's actually a sizeable number of them. Oh, my! And -- er -- I am NOT filing this under "MM in the Kitchen." Namely because 'roo meat isn't available in Nerdworld.

MM in the Kitchen: Poached Eggs on Toast

Saturday morning! It's time to make a nicer breakfast than you can on workday mornings. I've made some coffee, I have some sport on TV while I fold laundry, and I'm beginning to think about breakfast... (and about blogging -- I have a review of the Olympic opening ceremony -- but no blogging until after breakfast! Priorities, man.)

I'm sure you all know how to make poached eggs, but here's a lovely recipe for poached eggs on toast complete with full photographic how-to, step by step.

Oh, and do use the freshest eggs possible. They will have egg whites that are more cohesive. The older the egg, the more watery the egg white, and when you try to poach it, the egg white will go everywhere and make a mess. (What to do with older eggs? Scramble them, boil them in the shell, use in baking, use in fried rice, use for egg drop soup... They just don't poach well.)

Geek Fun: A Timeline of Popular Internet Memes

An enterprising Internet user has created a cool timeline of Internet memes. How many do you recognize? Do you have any favorites?

Ah, Internet life! It's a whole new aspect of modern pop culture. Where else will you get nearly 10 million people watching a YouTube video of a prairie dog? (Still, I have to say, that video makes me laugh every time. Every single time.) And trust me: it's a prairie dog, not a chipmunk.

MM in the Kitchen: Homemade Sonic Cherry Limeade

You'll recall my obsession with Sonic cherry limeades. Now here's a recipe for a homemade version, courtesy of the Al Dente blog.

Cherry limeades aren't hard to make, but I think the quality of the slushy crushed ice is absolutely key to a good one. That, and lots of maraschino cherries (stems on, please) lurking in the bottom of the drink. Well, this recipe should keep me mollified (sort of).

But there's really no substitute for flying through the Sonic drive-through window with the Cine-Sib in his car, listening to music really loudly and taking the opportunity to indulge in deliciously unhealthy limeades, chili-cheese hot dogs, and tater tots. And there's just no Sonic here in Nerdworld!

(Oh, and for those of you who have siblings, this should come as no surprise. Occasionally the Cine-Sib will call me just to report cheerfully that he's gotten a big Route 44 Sonic Cherry Limeade, easy ice. That's plain cruel! While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? *wink for the movie fans*)

Beijing Olympic Watch + Friday Fun Video: Let the Games Begin

It's the auspicious date of August 8, 2008 (08.08.08), and the Beijing Olympics have begun. There will be sport! There will be politics! There will be media madness! And there will be the constant reminder that politics is the ultimate spectator sport, perhaps.

I've combined two labels for this post: the "Beijing Olympics Watch" series and the occasional "Friday Fun" feature. I give you the following amusing video satire, which was sent to me by Il Barista. Enjoy!

The Beijing Olympics: Are They A Trap?

Nerd Notes: Stanley Fish on Environmentalism

Here's a quote from Nerd Lord Stanley Fish:

"I resist and resent the demands made on me by environmental imperatives. I don’t want to save the planet. I just want to inhabit it as comfortably as possible for as long as I have."

Consider me amused!

Add this nerdy shot at Foucault (are people still swooning over Foucault?), and I'm giggling:

And, of course, there’s recycling. Recycling has been around for a long time now, and the irritation many people feel toward it has often been expressed. I would only add that the rules and requirements keep changing and becoming more severe. I had just gotten used to separating the mail from the magazines (which had already been separated from the newspapers, which had already been separated from the bottles and the garbage, a category that has survived the revolution) when I was informed that some of the mail had cellophane address windows and that those would have to be ripped out before proceeding to the next stage and the next bin.

Categorization being what it is, there is no end to the subcategories that can be devised, each of them bringing with it a new set of strictures and a new opportunity to be inadequate and delinquent. Michel Foucault made a career of observing that modern techniques of regulation are more far-reaching and consequential than the old way of keeping people in line with guns and clubs, especially when they are imposed for your own good and for the good of society. He would have had a field day with recycling and would no doubt have written a book (maybe he did and I missed it while sorting the garbage), entitled, perhaps, “The Archaeology of Waste.”

Euro Notes: Green Germany and the Curious Case of the Marburg Solar Panels

What happens when persuasion turns to compulsion? The green debate takes an unhappy turn in the town of Marburg. Here is a blurb:

This fairy-tale town is stuck in the middle of a utopian struggle over renewable energy. The town council's decision to require solar-heating panels has thrown Marburg into a vehement debate over the boundaries of ecological good citizenship and led opponents to charge that their genteel town has turned into a "green dictatorship."

The town council took the significant step in June of moving from merely encouraging citizens to install solar panels to making them an obligation. The ordinance, the first of its kind in Germany, would require solar panels not only on new buildings, which fewer people oppose, but also on existing homes that undergo renovations or get new heating systems or roof repairs.

To give the regulation teeth, a fine of 1,000 euro, about $1,500, awaits those who do not comply.

Critics howled that the rule constituted an attack on the rights of property owners. The regional government in Giessen stepped in and warned that it would overturn the rule.

City officials in Marburg said, in turn, that they would take their case either to administrative court or all the way to the Hessian state capital, Wiesbaden, where they would try to get the state building code changed to protect their ordinance from officials in Giessen.

Oh, just go read the whole thing. I did see one little bit in the article that especially caught my eye. Here is it: "...the Marburg dispute sometimes feels like an argument between the enlightened environmentalists and the really enlightened environmentalists."

("I care about the earth!" "Well, I care more!" "No, you don't!" "Yes, I do!" "I recycle 90% of all my garbage!" "You polluting monster! I recycle 92%!" And so on. *Sigh.* Schoolyard tactics?)

This rather reinforces my thesis that much of the enviro-crusade is not so much about "saving the planet!!!" as much as feeling self-righteous and morally superior about oneself (and having that moral superiority be a justification for steamrollering over "less enlightened" people -- i.e., people who disagree with you and your policies).

Come on, Greenies. Persuade people to adopt more ecologically-friendly choices. Offer incentives to go green and, more importantly, to pursue better tech R&D. For goodness sake, forcing people to do things -- and fining them punitively -- will only create a backlash (and a well-deserved one too). Heaven save me from wild-eyed extreme Greenies convinced that their apocalyptic-messianic vision gives them carte blanche to run roughshod over people!

Hamlet Who?

Lovely news from the Cine-Sib: the Doctor is Hamlet!

Nerd News: Harvard Scholar Detained in Hong Kong

Read the whole story as printed in the Boston Globe. Blurb:

A Harvard scholar and human rights activist who returned to Brookline last August after five years in a Chinese prison was prohibited from re-entering his homeland this week, just days before the opening of the Olympics in Beijing.

Jianli Yang, who was exiled after the deadly pro-democracy demonstrations in Bejing's Tiananmen Square in 1989, was among several dissidents trying to return to a country that is anxiously preparing itself for the eyes of the world. Yang said he was planning to participate in a human rights walk in Hong Kong and visit the mainland province devastated by an earthquake earlier this year, but was detained at the airport in Hong Kong, which will host equestrian events on Saturday.

"I want to challenge the authorities on the issue of the right to return home ... too, too many dissidents now don't have the right to return home,'' Yang told Reuters by telephone.

Beijing Olympic Watch: Taiwan's DPP Calls for Ma to Boycott Opening Ceremonies

Here's an interesting development as the opposition party calls for the Taiwanese government to boycott the opening of the Beijing Games. The Ma administration will send some 150 senior officials.

Note also the possible implications of the actual location of the Taiwanese team in the opening ceremony's procession.

Related earlier post here about the political semantics of the Taiwanese Olympic team name.

Quirky Euro Files: The Inflatable Church on an Italian Beach

Ah, only in Italy!

Ping Pong Madness: Two Views

Ping pong! Table tennis! That quintessential Asian sport obsession. Now, would you like a quasi-serious social-cultural commentary or a hysterical movie spoof?

(Hint for the Cine-Sib: One link has Maggie Q. One doesn't. *giggle*)

Funny Video of the Day: Spoofing the Nature Documentary

From the ever-reliable Ninme comes this hilarious spoof video. Take a look. In the beginning it really does look just like a real nature documentary, complete with starchy British naturalist voiceover . . . and then things get weird!

Nerd News: 90-Year-Old Woman Earns Master's Degree

Congratulations to Roslyn Klein, who at age 90 has completed her master's degree! She now has a master's in science with a specialty in counseling.

You will perhaps remember an earlier post on Cambridge's 91-year-old brand-new PhD, Michael Cobb.

Kudos indeed on these folks who have clearly taken the current edu-babble terms "continuing education" and "lifelong learning" seriously.

Here's a related quote from the ancient Athenian leader (and fan of education) Solon, who once said, "I grow old ever learning many things." Heck, I'd like THAT on my epitaph.

Euro Notes: Belgium and Flemish Nationalism

All is not well in Belgium, as nationalistic feelings clash with EU-flavored notions of transnational unity.

Here is an interesting quote: "In its escalating dysfunction Belgium demonstrates the inextricable link between culture and nationhood."

Note also the role of language or, shall I say, languages as each group speaks its own.

Nerd Notes: the UK's Pretentious Snob Academy?

Or maybe not, but this new initiative in optional education has brought out the snark in the reporter who filed this article. Observe:

It is not so much a school for scoundrels as an academy to turn hooray Henrys into smart Alecs. A new “university of life” will teach its students how to talk at the dinner table, what books to read and how to sneer at British holidaymakers.

A group of philosophers, actors, wits and businessmen has been assembled to offer courses on everything from sparkling table talk to French philosophy.

The School of Life, whose faculty includes Alain de Botton, the philosopher and author, and Luke Johnson, chairman of Channel 4, may appear to critics to be an attempt to bolt intellectual pretentiousness onto old-fashioned snobbery.

Its backers, however, insist it will help clients who have been too busy in the pursuit of money to develop their social skills and intellectual depth.

I wonder if they will have a course entitled "Anti-Americanism 101" or "The Fine Art of Bashing Conservatives" or "Elitist Eye for the Nouveau-Riche Guy" or, best of all, "Communist Chic for Wealthy Poseurs."

UPDATE: I was indulging in a bit of snarky humor myself with my suggested list of courses, but in the interest of fairness, here is the official website of the School of Life. It actually looks rather intriguing. ("Bibliotherapy"!)

MM in the Kitchen: Chocolate-Whiskey Pudding Cake (with Strawberries)

I haven't actually made this yet, but I found the recipe this morning and it looks just fascinating. Really, the name alone conjures up all sorts of culinary and moral decadence.

La Parisienne and CPD, this one's for y'all. I'll bring the cake, you bring the coffee.

Satire Alert and Amusing Political Video of the Day: Paris Hilton for President

And do you know what the scary thing is? Her energy policy makes more sense than the Dems' "plans." In fact, her ideas come a bit close to my own. It must be a sign of the coming apocalypse! EVERYBODY PANIC!

But before you do, take a look at this video (via Dirty Harry's Place). I'll rate it PG for a little too much undress and for one naughty word. It's Paris Hilton for President, and she's, like, totally ready to lead. Enjoy:

Quirky Euro Files: Berlin's Stasi-Themed Bar

There's Ostalgie, and then there's Ostalgie. A controversial new bar opens in Berlin.

I can't help pointing out that the owners obtained many of their Communist-era bar decorations (Stasi artifacts) through eBay. Somehow this little bit of irony just really amuses the capitalist/free marketeer in me!

Joys of Socialized Health Care: UK's NHS Reports Pest Infestations

After reading this, Dr. Minerva's best medical advice is: "Don't get sick ever."

Blurb:

Nearly 20,000 cases of pest infestations in NHS hospitals have been recorded over the past two years, the Conservatives have said.

Mice, rats, squirrels, bedbugs, fleas, cockroaches, ants, flies, silverfish and even foxes have all been reported by hospitals responding to Conservative freedom of information requests.

Responses from 127 trusts show that 70 per cent had to call out pest controllers 50 or more times between January 2006 and March 2008.

Infestations of FOXES????

Worst Song Ever? A New Ranking

Here's an amusing ranking of the top (or bottom) 10 songs that stink, according to a new survey:

1. Who Let The Dogs Out - Baha Men
2. Ice, Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
3. She Bangs - Ricky Martin
4. Barbie Girl - Aqua
5. U Can't Touch This - MC Hammer
6. I Am Woman - Helen Redey
7. I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred
8. Ebony and Ivory - Paul McCartney And Stevie Wonder
9. Macarena - Los Del Rio
10. My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion

It's a really subjective list...

Your Morning Newspaper From Around the World

This is one of the coolest things I've seen in a long time.

Every day the Newseum website has the front pages of about 600 different newspapers from around the world. Click on any dot on the map to see the front page of that area's paper!

(You can also access the front pages by list, but the map is so much cooler -- plus it forces you to remember your geography!)

Movie Fun: Mapping Ben Kingsley's Accents!

Via a link at Kyle Smith comes an interactive, clickable map of Ben Kingsley's various on-screen accents. I'm tickled!

Goldberg on Wealth, Poverty, and Capitalism

Jonah Goldberg has something to say about wealth, poverty, and capitalism. You go, Jonah! Here's a blurb:

Capitalism is the greatest system ever created for alleviating general human misery, and yet it breeds ingratitude.

People ask, “Why is there poverty in the world?” It’s a silly question. Poverty is the default human condition. It is the factory preset of this mortal coil. As individuals and as a species, we are born naked and penniless, bereft of skills or possessions. Likewise, in his civilizational infancy man was poor, in every sense. He lived in ignorance, filth, hunger, and pain, and he died very young, either by violence or disease.

The interesting question isn’t “Why is there poverty?” It’s “Why is there wealth?” Or: “Why is there prosperity here but not there?”

At the end of the day, the first answer is capitalism, rightly understood. That is to say: free markets, private property, the spirit of entrepreneurialism and the conviction that the fruits of your labors are your own.

ABBA: Awesome or Awful?

ABBA is back -- and bigger and cheesier than ever. One British columnist is in a froth of ABBA-hatred, and the hostility is darn near hilarious. Here's a bit:

I hate Abba. I hated them first time around, when their cheesy disco pop with its clod-hopping rhythms and banal, repetitive, linguistically challenged choruses made them singalong family favourites. And I hate them even more now, when the flattening effect of nostalgia has lent a spurious retro-credibility to their formulaic Euro drivel.

Poor fellow. Right now, ABBA is enjoying a revival, what with "Mamma Mia!" (both the musical and now the movie). Goodness, people like me who are too young to remember ABBA from the 1970s are now being confronted with their musical madness. There's no escape!

Still, "Dancing Queen" is kind of a catchy tune!

Top 100 Films, Ranked by the London Times

Don't panic! This isn't another of those stodgy, pretentious lists! The Times of London has a fresh list of its 100 top films, and it's an unusual, eclectic, at times delightfully demented collection.

Take a look and be entertained by the list itself. When was the last time you saw "Jurassic Park," "Blazing Saddles," and "This Is Spinal Tap" in a "top films" list?

Oh, sure, some of the usual suspects are on there (no movie list is complete with Bogart's finest, after all), but most of the entries aren't the predictable honorees of other lists.

Nerd Notes: In Praise of Autodidacticism

Hooray for those who educate themselves! And also for those who don't depend on official education for all their knowledge development, whether they have university degrees or not.

Gentle reader, the last thing any intelligent person should do is depend wholly on academia.

Also, there's that great idea of "life-long learning," or in Libby Purves' more trenchant prose, "Anyone, at any age or eminence, who considers their education to be finished is an idiot."

Taiwan the Canary: KMT, DPP, and Ge-Ge Beijing

The New York Times stumbles on the truth even in the middle of a piece that basically oohs and aahs over Beijing, depicts Hu Jintao as a great guy, and makes a simplistic mess of the Taiwan-Japan-China nexus. Hooray for Hu, it says, he's making friends with the neighbors before the Olympics! Oh, please.

Still, in the middle of the article's "analysis" (I hesitate to use the word) of China's Taiwan policy, not even the Hu cheerleaders can deny this:

"Under Mr. Hu’s leadership, the Chinese government has worked to strengthen the political position of the Kuomintang in Taiwan while weakening that of the Democratic Progressive Party."

My total dislike and distrust of the KMT, past and present, is abundantly on record. As for Ge-Ge's standard and despicable behavior . . . Did anyone have any doubts that Beijing is busy trying to undermine independent, sovereign Taiwan at every turn?

I am NOT convinced by Hu's supposedly "kinder, gentler" approach to Taiwan. Is there an iron fist in that velvet glove? What do 1000+ missiles on the Chinese coastline tell you? For all China's propagandistic babbling about a "harmonious society," I'm a cold-eyed realist, and its Olympic sloganeering about "One World, One Dream" isn't a dream about free societies and civil liberties. Take a look at the pieces of the world where Beijing's influence is strong: China protecting the thugocracies in Zimbabwe and Darfur, China rolling over Tibet, China frustrating Hong Kong's desire for democracy. What a world, indeed. This isn't even looking at China itself, where the vast rural areas are simmering with poverty and discontent, dissidents disappear, and media censorship is widespread.

As for Taiwan proper, the article quotes one Western diplomat who has this piquant observation:

“The way that China deals with Taiwan will assuage or fuel anxiety over the way China deals with the other neighbors."

Taiwan as canary? Well, that's just great. Because back in the days of the coal mine canaries, how'd you know if you were in a dangerous spot? When your canary more or less fell over stone cold dead.

Film Culture Commentary: the Evolution of the Fight Scene

(This is especially for you, Cine-Sib!)

Take a look, gentle reader, at an interesting piece on the history of the movie fight scene. It comes complete with video clips!

I have one comment to add: a pox on whoever invented the "shaky-cam" approach to action sequences! Since when are visual incoherence, lack of clarity, and jerky camera contortions good things? Are you trying to give me seizures? Really. Ditto on the pox for whoever invented the approach that apparently consists of shooting a fight scene, turning it into confetti, and throwing the whole scattered mess at the audience (as it clutches its tortured retinas and moans through its migraines).

If the audience can't make visual sense of what's going on in a fight scene, then what's the point?

Taiwan: Nighttime Military Drill Canceled

Oh, dear. Heaven forbid anybody's evening entertainment be interfered with for something as silly as, oh, I don't know, national security!

France's Troubled Wine Industry

Yes, yes, we know that the French wine industry has had some issues, but . . . wine terrorists?

Geek/Nerd News: Meet the Professor of Computer Viruses

Professor George Ledin teaches his students how to hack computers and create computer viruses (so they can in turn defend against them) for his college course in computer security. Sounds like an interesting class!

For Love of Language and Literature: 50 Best Translations

Translation is a tricky business indeed. Still, some translations are better than others, and the Times of London have a list of 50 outstanding literary translations from the last 50 years.

Best Political Sarcasm Yet: the Obamessiah Video

This is more or less the visual version of this previously posted, glorious bit of written sarcasm.

The video pokes fun at the "Obamessiah" idea by including some actual soundbytes of Obama. I remember how I had rolled my eyes when I'd heard them during his speeches, and they're back in a wonderfully sarcastic ad. The worst offender of the lot is probably Obama's loopy comment about literally saving the world: I'm tempted to call the whole thing an "unintentionally hilarious example of megalomania" and be done with it.

Film fans: there is a surprise little movie reference/cameo at the end of the video that made me laugh out loud. I'm pretty sure you'll be tickled too.

Here it is!

Great Moments in Research: New Study Confirms "Kevin Bacon"/Small World Theory

Kevin Bacon, call your office!

A new study on "degrees of separation" discoves that there really are only about 6 degrees of separation between any 2 random strangers anywhere. Well, weird and cool, all at the same time. Geek note: the method of conducting this study? Looking at text messages!

Mini-Movie Review: the Cine-Sib Reviews "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor"

Last night, the Cine-Sib went to go see "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor."

He and I had been hoping for the best, since it has those two titans of Asian cinema, Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh, and with one playing the good guy and one the bad guy, you just knew there'd be a huge kung fu fight at the end. BUT, as the Sib reported, the long-awaited fight scene was a disappointment. It was too short, he said, and it was too much in slow motion. What a downer! Instead, the Cine-Sib recommends the fight scene between another set of martial arts film stars, Jet Li and Jackie Chan, in "Forbidden Kingdom."

What about the third Mummy flick as a whole? The Cine-Sib gave his review in 3 words:

"Big dumb fun."

Hm... Rotten Tomatoes gives the film a mere 10% (uh-oh), and my favorite film critics all seem to hate it (bigger uh-oh). Even though Brendan Fraser's almost always amusing to watch in an action-comedy sort of way, maybe I'll wait until the flick's out on DVD so I don't throw away $10. I'll save my pennies for "Tropic Thunder."

PS: Brendan Fraser's first mummy flick (1999) is the best of the series. I even own it on DVD. It's just a silly, fun ride. Stick with that first one and ignore the sequels.

Nerd Notes: The Art of a Harsh Book Review

There is something so gloriously catty yet tempered with wit in this scathing customer review of Nancy Pelosi's new book. I simply have to post it:

The democrat matron of global warming hysteria is doing her part to destroy the planet by writing an unnecessary book - to be made out of paper and ultimately tossed in a landfill?

Even if her publishers are using recycled paper, they are still wasting materials that could be utilized for a greater purpose. The printing process and delivery of the book also squander valuable energy and resources that could go to better use.

So park your SUVs and turn off your air conditioners... Nancy needs the power to make profits from her book.

Anyone who buys this book should, out of deference for the planet, multipurpose the material and use it for toilet paper - preferably before they read it.

Ouch!

Beijing Olympic Watch: Beijing Jails More Dissidents

Beijing's just thrown more dissidents into the slammer. The Olympics start next week, and the eyes of the world are on the Middle Kingdom. Apparently, it doesn't matter. No civil liberties for you - and we don't care who's watching.

Let's be under NO ILLUSIONS that the Olympic project is going to make China less of a human rights monster. It's not. As Amnesty International has reported, the Olympics have made Beijing even more intransigent and harsh.

So Beijing broke its Olympic promises? What a surprise.

UPDATE: More on this here.

Obamessiah is Asian-American by Association: Idiotic "Journalism" of the Day -- Plus a Rant!

Hey, kids!

Do you know that you don't have to be Asian in race or ethnicity in order to be Asian? If you're around Asian people long enough, you too can be Asian! In fact, Asianness is like the common cold; if you spend a lot of time around someone who has it, you can catch it too!

Take a look at this utterly preposterous piece out of the San Francisco Chronicle. Not only is a total fawning puff piece drooling openly and shamelessly over Obama, it makes the actual argument that Obamessiah is really Asian-American because he has Asian-American friends. Say WHAT?

I'm not making this up. Here is an actual quote:

. . . Could it be that our true first black president might also be our first Asian American president? . . . He was born and raised in Hawaii, the only majority-Asian state in the union; he spent four formative years in Jakarta, the home of his Indonesian stepfather Lolo Soetoro, where he attended local schools and learned passable Bahasa Indonesia. The family with whom he's closest — half-sister Maya Soetoro-Ng and her Chinese Canadian husband, Konrad Ng — are Asian American. So, too, are the most senior members of his congressional team — his Senate chief of staff Pete Rouse, whose mother is Japanese American, and his legislative director Chris Lu, whose parents hail from China.

Oh, please! Then I am a raving leftist/tree-hugging global warming alarmist/PLO sympathizer because I happen to be around those kinds of people. While I'm at it, maybe I'm not really Asian-American; by association I'm also Hispanic, black, white, and every other race/ethnicity/group you care to identify on campus because I associate with them.

Identity politics have always been silly. Now it's hit bottom and started digging.

There's a logic bomb in all this too. Identity politics are basically predicated on the idea that identity is something that you have indeliably, inherently, more or less genetically like a blood type; it defines you and should shape all your individual acts because your group identity trumps all else, including individuality ("Vote for Hillary solely because she's a woman and you're a woman, not because her policies are sound" is an example -- ludicrous, I know, but bear with me). But how does this kind of identity work with Obama now, after this little bit of breathless writing?

Are we now going to overturn the idea of genetic identity in favor of a chosen, externally-given identity? Identity that's not inborn, but sourced from somewhere else? Well, then, this means that individual experience/choice/etc. play a role in identity -- that identity is not some kind of monolithic, unchanging status. And thus quivers the entire stupid superstructure of ID politics. This pie-eyed, swooning Obama acolyte, in attempting to make his idol some kind of race-ethnicity superstar, has inadvertently destabilized some basic assumptions of ID politics . . . and done this with a fatuous argument that itself is laughably bad and even more idiotic. Asian by association! What, he's now Asian because he supposedly "understands" Asian people? (Never mind that "Asian" itself is such a huge umbrella term that it means nearly nothing.) Yo, Obamessiah! How about understanding me and my Asian-American opinions about things? No? Too centrist? Not enough taxes, too much hawkishness? Well, phooey.

Come on, people, it's time to behave as responsible adults and say no to race-baiting, race-hustling, and the cynical manipulation of identity politics in every form, including this! We should be looking at the presidential race as Americans first, not as (insert boutique grievance specialty group here) first, Americans second/last.

UPDATE: I just noticed this. In the article, the writer refers to "Asian values" as some monolithic thing . . . and then links that term to the Wikipedia definition. Are you freakin' KIDDING ME?

Movie Preview: "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" Trailer

The trailer for the next HP flick is now online! I post it here as visual chicken soup for La Parisienne, who's been feeling a bit poorly. Feel better, girl!

Taiwan and the Dangers of Strategic Ambiguity from the US

I know I've said it before: strategic ambiguity and general "fuzziness" in American policy toward Taiwan leads to more, not less, risk of conflict in the Taiwan Strait among the major players of China, Taiwan, and the US. (Also, recall this archived nerd-expert lecture on the topic.)

Dignified Rant calls for strategic clarity and also links to a piece arguing that defending Taiwan is in a real sense also defending America.

Things have changed in both China and Taiwan since the formulation of the "One China policy" (the name itself is a pernicious fiction), and current policy should reflect those changes, not cling to an outdated and obsolete scenario. Just look at Beijing ramping up its military spending and planting missiles like geraniums on the coast.

The short version: Beijing should have no doubts about American commitment to Taiwanese security. And Taiwan should have no doubts about its own needs for robust self-defense capabilities. (I.e., Don't want to get invaded? Make yourself -- DUH -- hard/painful to invade.)

OK, I've gotten invested in this now (my morning coffee just kicked in), so . . . This goes without saying, surely, but I'm going to say it anyway. Over the last twenty years or so, Taiwan has developed into one of Asia's democratic bright spots. If the US has a real commitment to the idea of freedom around the world (and this isn't a crazy neocon thing; remember the words of Dem saint JFK too), it should take a long hard look at its Taiwan policy. Look, we are spending a great deal of blood and treasure to grow democracy in the Middle East; now here's a much more established democracy in Asia that could use some straight-talking support (not the same type of blood or treasure), and what are we doing? I'll even go out on a limb and say that a little backbone now will save a whole lot of trouble later. Strategic ambiguity ultimately encourages Beijing to push, push, push to see just what it can get away with while Washington shuffles around and looks like it's second-guessing and hesitating. Because, well, it sort of is.

Meanwhile, Ma is making a mess of things on the island and very possibly doing real harm to the integrity of its democracy, but that's really another post. Suffice it to say for now that all my democracy-advocating relatives are extremely concerned.

Friday Fun Video: Batman, Joker, and a Failure to Communicate

Hey, apparently I wasn't the only one who thought that Christian Bale's Batman voice was distracting and -- well -- almost unintelligible.

Take a look at this spoof of the interrogation scene from "The Dark Knight." A couple of the great lines: "There's nothing in the English language that sounds anything like that. Are you speaking Bat? Is that what Bat sounds like?"

"I do NOT have throat cancer!"

Life Imitates Satire: Move Gitmo's Enemy Combatants To . . .

Is it real? Is it satire? It's certainly awesome.

PS: It's real. Humor can indeed make a point better, as the bill skewers its target with a jest.

Film Culture Commentary: Kyle Smith on Batman (and Spiderman)

Kyle Smith, a film critic who's always worth reading, has an interesting article on "The Dark Knight" in the context of current events.

Digression: Smith also talks about why the new Batman is so much more compelling than "Spider-Man 2," which he criticizes as being a boring flick. And for that, I just wanted to say . . . "Thank you, Kyle!" That makes me feel less alone, because when "Spider-Man 2" came out a few years ago to great fanfare, rave reviews, and 93% at RottenTomatoes, I felt like the only critic who hated it. (FYI, that review is on my archived old blog, so you can't comment there anymore. Please comment on this post instead.)

Satire Alert: Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket to Escape Dying Planet

Via an email from the Cine-Sib, here is the latest satire from the wits at The Onion. Hilarious!

(Or, to give you both a catchphrase from the Manolo and a nod to the comics, the satire is "Superfantastic!")

MM in the Kitchen: Delightful Dumplings -- Pan-Fried Pork and Shrimp Potstickers; Xiao Long Bao

Summertime has inspired me to cook more! Plus, I am in love with the kitchen in my new flat. I think I'll start posting recipes from time to time. (The new tag "MM in the Kitchen" basically means "hey, this is good stuff that I actually make.")

We'll start with an item that I can't get enough of: dumplings. Dumplings in their infinite variety. Take a look at these glorious recipes, complete with fantastic (almost artistic) photos and practical advice.

Try the pan-fried pork and shrimp potstickers or, a particular favorite of the Cine-Sib, steamed xiao long bao. It's a foodgasm, as the saucy cooking blogress there describes it!

Note: the xiao long bao do require "specialist equipment" for best results: bamboo steamers.

So, Cine-Sib, here are dumprings -- I mean, dumplings -- for you. (Maybe next time, flied lice -- er, fried rice.)

Quirky Asia Files: Japanese Parents Play Matchmaker for Unmarried Adult Children

Oh, dear.

Nerd Notes and Great Moments in Research: Professors Study Comic Books

Professional scholars are now taking comic books seriously. This should be interesting!

Holy tenure-winning monograph, Batman!

Coffee + Clover = Heaven?

(This is for you fans and friends of Satan Coffee, and you know who you are -- *cough* Il Barista, La Parisienne, and charming lurker Noli Me Tangere! *cough* Now go make me a no-whip tall mocha frappuccino, stat!)

Meet what might be coffee nirvana in the shape of the apparent Holy Grail of coffee makers, the Clover machine. Alas, coffee nirvana comes with a price tag of $11,000. And is the coffee really that much better?

Anyway, CPD and I had talked about this shiny new Clover contraption before -- and about making an actual coffee pilgrimage to a cafe that has one. I am so not kidding. If I find a coffeehouse within a decent distance that has a Clover, I just GOTTA try it once (though I know it'll cost more than the average cup of joe: the CPD did warn me that one place in New York sells its Clover-created brew-of-the-gods for something crazy like $7 a cup. Say WHAT?).

For those of us who can't drop $11,000 but want a nice coffee-making gizmo? Both my friends Ladybird (a fellow coffee fiend) and Foxtrot (a tea fan) love their Keurig machines. I can't afford that (what young nerd can?), but I can do a nice French press.

Hmmm. All this talk of coffee . . . I'm off to that Boston-born East Coast favorite, Dunkin Donuts. (Sorry, Il Barista.)

Beijing Olympic Watch: Massive Internet Surveillance at Hotels?

Ge-Ge is watching! According to US senator Sam Brownback, Chinese authorities will be invasively monitoring Internet access at major hotels, so you better be careful if you are a guest.

This isn't a surprise, folks: Chinese censorship, Internet and otherwise, is a fact.

Celebrity Silliness: Zhang Ziyi Doesn't Understand Complaints About China's Human Rights Abuses

Well, celebrity silliness isn't only a Western phenomenon, as actress Zhang Ziyi just said she doesn't understand why some people are protesting China's human rights record. Really?

(Here's a clue, Miss Zhang: because China's human rights record stinks.)

News blurb:

Zhang Ziyi has told Vogue magazine that she is puzzled by the protests against China's human rights record before the Beijing Olympics.

Activists have criticized China's rule in Tibet and its alleged failure to do more to help stop mass killings in the Sudanese region of Darfur. Protests marred several international legs of the Olympic torch relay.

The actress served as a torch bearer for the Chinese leg of the relay.

"I don't see why people are so negative. The games are about friendship," Zhang was quoted as saying in the current issue of Vogue. "I'm Chinese and I'm proud of my country."

She doesn't see why "people are so negative"? As if protesting China's substantively inhuman actions in Tibet and Darfur were somehow the equivalent of being a spoilsport -- or a rude guest who puts a damper on a polite dinner party. Frankly, I never liked Zhang Ziyi before, and now I like her even less. Whatever, girl. Go and be the pretty face of Beijing propaganda to the rest of the world if you want. I'm not impressed.

Geek News: The Fastest Internet Ever, Mate

(This post is dedicated to the Cine-Sib, whose love of entertainment is surpassed only by his love of cool tech!)

Here is a geek-tastic development, courtesy of computer scientists from the University of Sydney, who have created a chip that increases Internet speed by 60 times the current top speed.

Awesome Aussies indeed!

Nerd Notes: Meet Professor Obama

Some years ago, Senator Obama taught a few law classes at the University of Chicago.

The New York Times politics blog has unearthed, collected, and linked to some of his class materials (including syllabi, assignments, exams, and memos) from his "Racism and the Law" and constitutional law courses.

Take a look if you are so inclined, and peek into Professor Obama's classroom.

Film Culture Commentary: The Ladies, the Critics, and the Ladies Who Are Critics

This seems to be the summer of our discontent, at least in terms of gender-based complaints and hand-wringing over the male, the female, and the cinema. I'm starting to get tired of this theme. Why do I keep on, then? Because I feel the need to be a dissenting female voice in the big roar of other female voices whining about as though they whine on behalf of all women. So I dissent, or at least try to point out some considerations.

It all started on this blog, you'll recall, with this (on the lack of female leads in summer flicks), and recently I linked to this (a survey of opinions from some female film critics).

Now this post at a Variety blog takes on the idea of the upcoming film"Twilight" as some kind of fault line between female filmgoers and male film critics. Here is a quote:

And the coverage that movies with femme appeal do get from male critics is not the necessarily as positive or understanding as that from female critics. Mamma, Mia! and Sex in the City would be recent examples. Why would a guy particularly engage with a romantic comedy like 27 Dresses? Professional film critics will argue that it is their job to know how to review such a movie. Let's put it this way. Some men are better able to adopt the female POV, and tap into their femme side, than others. Many men are not trained to do see things from the perspective of the opposite sex. All women are.

Frankly, I'm not entirely convinced. There's plenty of overstatement in this. And quite a bit of tarring nearly all male film critics with the same brush.

Her's another thought: maybe it's possible to look at a movie without the blinders of gender alone. Is it possible to consider a movie as an artistic whole? Suppose a male critic trashes a "female movie." Do we say, ah ha! He did this because he's a man and doesn't understand a girl movie? But what if then a woman critic trashes the same movie? Is she a "gender traitor"? OR MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, IS THAT MOVIE A BAD MOVIE?

I still want to know what the writer, and people like her, think about girls like my friends and me, the ladies who don't like "female movies." I'm practically waiting for some wild-eyed femi-zealot to call me a "gender traitor." But I have to be honest, and I have to be true to myself. I would rather watch Michael Bay blow stuff up than watch still another limp, predictable romantic comedy. (Though, if I were forced at gunpoint to pick and watch a modern rom-com, I'd pick 1997's "My Best Friend's Wedding" because it's a bit different. I'd much rather have Jane Austen, who isn't modern rom-com because her material actually has some wit and style.)

I also have a thought about the whole "not enough movies for women" idea. Just because you make such supposedly female-friendly films doesn't automatically mean that millions of female film fans will flock to those films. Just look at supposedly female-friendly TV channels like "Oxygen" or "Lifetime." I personally never watch them, and I think I'd rather watch paint dry. (Or better yet, pop in a DVD of "Battlestar Galactica"...)

Oh, sometimes I do watch a gender-targeted channel, though. And it's the guy-centered "Spike TV" because it has lots of reruns of shows I enjoy, such as "CSI" and Star Trek," along with action movies and -- recently -- plenty of James Bond films.

Final random thought: are "guy movies" really so lacking in female appeal? Is it true , as the writer opines, "That's one reason why today's movies are so geared toward men, while women starve for material aimed at them. Women are accustomed to going along and accepting slim pickings in pictures by and about men"?

That's right : women are just poor dumb movie sheep! Women are just resigned to their sorry fate at the cinema! But isn't this just a little too sweeping a statement?

Is it so incomprehensible that, for instance, the spectacle of a male heroic lead can be attractive to the ladies as well to the men? I'm reminded of an interview with Lena Headey when she was promoting her film "300." The interviewer asked her why women should go see this action film (I saw it and loved it, by the way, and own the DVD). Lena looked right into the camera and said with a grin, "Ladies -- 300 naked guys." With fabulous physiques. (And no, that wasn't why I went to see the film.)

Well, OK, playful lasciviousness aside, is it so odd that a girl might watch and even enjoy "300" or another "guy movie"? (For example, this or this.) And "300" also has a strong female role, Lena Headey as the formidable Spartan queen -- a wife and mother who can also kick butt in her own right. She's worth a hundred neurotic rom-com starlets who fret about phone calls and clothes.

I'm going to go right on cheerfully going to the cinema to see the films that I personally want to see -- and if they happen to be "guy movies," then let the femi-zealots howl because I'll do what I please as an independent girl. I'm probably going to see "The Dark Knight" again, I'm definitely going to see the third Mummy film (with Brendan Fraser, Jet Li, and -- "cool woman alert! my heroine!" -- Michelle Yeoh), and I can't wait for "Tropic Thunder" to bring the summer movie season to a roaring conclusion with some high-energy action-comedy.

Film Culture Commentary: No Room for Heroes?

Is there room for heroes nowadays in the theater? And how can I say this when the cinema marquee has been jammed with title after title advertising superhero films? I'm talking about content, I suppose.

Here is a thought-provoking statement by a British film critic who comments in his Batman review:

The cinema is awash with comic-book superheroes - but none of them is truly heroic. Heroes, in our egalitarian age, no longer embody the dream of the superior individual who is greater than humanity; nowadays, superheroes must be as flawed and screwed up as we are. They drink too much (Hancock), have anger issues (the Incredible Hulk) and are self-obsessed (Iron Man). Things have come to such a sorry state that, as we shall see, even Batman (Christian Bale) is not allowed to be the hero of his own movie.

I highlighted the bit that caught my attention. Interesting! And timely too. Check out Disney/Pixar's "The Incredibles," which has an excellent embedded theme about this. "Everybody's special. That means nobody is."

Decades before this, the great C.S.Lewis, commenting on academia, said that the day was coming when the mediocre would tear down the excellent for daring to be excellent -- and that the excellent would start tearing themselves down so they could be mediocre like everybody else.

Now on the business of heroic superheroes, there is a related issue of making these characters human, relatable, multi-dimensional, and nuanced . . . but this isn't the same as the point about making heroes less heroic.

Pretty soon, the villains will be the ones who get all the attention, the more wicked and monstrous the better and more fascinating -- oh, wait, that's already happened. In the theater. But we should all rue the day when it happens in real life. Oh, wait, that's already happened too.

Pop Culture Lexicon: "Nuke the Fridge"

Pop culture has a way of zeroing in on the ridiculous and codifying it in current lingo. How do you describe something so utterly ludicrous in film or TV that you know the source has become irremediably silly?

The original was "jump the shark" from TV's "Happy Days."

Now we have "nuke the fridge" from this summer's "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull."

(Related pop phrase for nutty personal behavior: the Tom Cruise-Oprah-inspired "jump the couch.")

Quirky Euro-Asia Files: Back in the USSR Kitchen -- Russian Nostalgia for Soviet-Era Food

This comes as a little surprise to me, as I was unaware that the Soviets had food worth eating. (/sarcasm)

Here's the blurb:

Gastronom No 1, best known for its luxury champagnes and caviar, has opened up a new line catering to Soviet-era nostalgia.

Inside a grand Tsarist-era shopping arcade on Red Square, its spotless food hall has added a range of soggy, Soviet-era stodge to the more refined delicacies of the capitalist world.

. . . "People want to remember the good times, with good friends - a time when the grass was greener and the sun was shinier," said Albert Popkov, the wealthy founder of Odnoklassniki, a social networking site that is Russia's answer to Facebook.

He has visited the shop, but has so far failed to find the product he misses most from his youth on Russia's Far Eastern island of Sakhalin - a kind of chocolate butter that he hasn't seen since 1991.

Instead the shop is decorated with pyramids of sweetened condensed milk and tins of pork stew, in the simple packaging that denoted Russia's products before the arrival of capitalist glitz and glamour.

"Most products in Soviet times weren't really delicious – it's more like nostalgia," said Ilya Brodsky, 30.

He said he likes the look of goods that remind him of simpler times.

. . . Visitors can buy half a litre of unbranded Soviet-style vinegar for the equivalent of 50p - or look two shelves up and grab a bottle of Italy's finest balsamic, at £52 for 100ml.

As if "capitalist glitz and glamour" were a bad thing? Nope, I'm an unashamed capitalist pig and free market, low-tax evildoer. Look, the entire idea that you can now CHOOSE whether to buy Soviet-era stuff or not is a step forward from the days when you had no choice, when you had to wait in endless lines for poor-quality stuff from almost-empty shelves. Or starved entirely under Communist power. I retain no positive feelings for the old USSR or its wretched ideology that belongs in the dustbin of history. Losing is chic these days, I guess.

Also, does anybody else find it amusing that the luxury food shop with the Soviet food is housed in a grand Tsarist-era building? That's three entirely different visions of Mother Russia under just one roof. Well, nobody ever said Russia was easy to grasp.

Anyway, this whole news story is an odd little combination of food, communist/Soviet chic, a Russian sort of Ostalgie, and the idea that it's easier to wax nostalgic and reminisce fondly about the "good old communist days" if you are no longer living in an oppressive totalitarian communist society and therefore don't have to live also with the daily terrors and miseries of that system.

Notice also which kind of Russians are now buying Soviet-era nostalgia-food. RICH Russians. Wealthy Russians who have become financially successful in the post-Soviet era. Gee, this is like Marie Antoinette pretending to be a milkmaid in the backyard of her palace. Only the rich think poverty is romantic. I am serious! I'll also paraphrase Mae West: I've been poor, and I've been rich. Rich is better. Girl, you can say that again.

Random personal note: the whole thing about communist-era food makes me think of that great plotline in the delightful German film "Goodbye Lenin" -- the frantic search for GDR-era Mokka Fix Gold.

Mini Foreign Movie Review: "Mongol"

Temujin prepares to unleash some 12th-century wrath of Khan

I'm trying something new here on the blog -- inserting a category just for foreign films in my film-centered posts. This is the inaugural entry. I've spent a lot of time enjoying and sharing American movies on this blog this summer; let's broaden our horizons a little and try some foreign flicks too, shall we?

Last night the Cine-Sib (who is here for a visit, hooray!) and I went to a screening of the well-reviewed film "Mongol" by Russian director Sergei Bodrov (nominated for the foreign film Oscar, winner of numerous other film prizes, and rated 88% at Rotten Tomatoes). It was an interesting and beautiful attempt to portray Genghis Khan before he was Genghis Khan -- when he was first a child and then the nobody named Temujin.

Nerd Note: A long, looooooong time ago, I had to write a paper on the early years of Genghis for a seminar in Chinese history, so I was happy to see a film on the subject -- if only because it brought a little cinematic flair and color to the evil memories of haunting the library.

Geek Note: Yes, Trek fans, the Cine-Sib could not resist yelling "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!"

I'm a hurry today, so here are a few scattered thoughts and a tiny review of "Mongol" in haiku -- an idea I have shamelessly lifted from better haiku poets than I, the Cine-Sib and Christian Toto.

• Cine-Sib and I both thought the movie was often slow and plodding; at one point I had to elbow him to wake him up (!). The total run time is 126 minutes, but sometimes it felt very long.
  
• There weren't as many battle scenes as I thought there would be, though the film is still ared R for bloody violence and the final action sequence is eye-poppingly fantastic. The Cine-Sib commented approvingly it's the equal of battle scenes in "Braveheart."
  
• Lead actor Tadanobu Asano (he is Japanese) does a great job embodying Temujin. Same for the Chinese actor Honglei Sun, who plays the warlord Jamukha.
• Gorgeous sweeping panoramas of the steppes and mountains of central Asia make up a sustained pattern of excellent cinematography. The landscapes are one of the best features of the film, capturing some small hint of the harsh life of Mongolian nomadic tribes. (Plus I had a chance to explain to the Sibling what a yurt is!)
  
• Production values are sky-high, and the film is polished, detailed, and very evocative.
• This is a huge international effort, including the Russian director, Chinese and Japanese actors, locations in Kazakhstan, and the use of the Mongolian language throughout the film (yes, there are English subtitles). There's a smile-inducing bit in the film when Temujin cheerfully tells his son that everyone should learn Mongolian because it's such a beautiful language; it seems like a self-referential moment too. I admit I'd never really heard much Mongolian before, and it's very intriguing.
• I won't bother you with nerdy babbling about historical revisionism, romanticizing Genghis Khan, and such. This movie is a work of art and entertainment. Try to enjoy it as such. We actually don't have a lot of solid evidence for the earliest years of Temujin anyway. And we can argue later about the man who conquered huge swathes of central Asia with the edge of his bloody sword, created the Mongolian empire, and became a figure who terrified his enemies from China to the Black Sea.
  
• Here is the promised haiku:
  

Epic biopic
Genghis Khan rides to conquer
Learn Mongolian.

Shakespeare and Cinema: 30 Best Movie Adaptations of the Bard

Have a look at two of my favorite things (Shakespeare and cinema) now put together! Rotten Tomatoes has a countdown of the 30 best film adaptations of the Bard's plays. The rankings are subjective, of course, and some are odd, but do take a look!

I'll let you guess which ones I like, which I loathe, which I didn't care about, and which I own on DVD. (Two on the list were so awful in their own way that I never finished watching them. Several are so delightful that I play them often while I'm studying.)

Theater and film are such different things that any attempt to bridge the two is bound to be an interesting challenge.

I should add too that the creative adaptation of "The Taming of the Shrew" for the TV series "Moonlighting" doesn't count as cinema, really, but it's delightful all the same. Come on, Bruce Willis as Petruchio and Cybill Shepherd as Katherina!

PS: Also check out the Hamlet digression in the 1997 oddball comedy "Two Girls and a Guy."

UPDATE: The Times of London has an interesting look at the history of Shakespeare on screen.

Beijing Olympic Watch: Taiwan and "Anything Other Name"

The Beijing Games start in only a few days. Welcome to the latest round of what to call the Taiwanese team. The latest flap: Zhonghua Taipei or Zhongguo Taipei? The View from Taiwan blog has the story and news link.

The name game has always infuriated me. It basically attempts to efface Taiwan by slapping on a spurious label -- and now, spurious labels, plural. What, you can't even settle on a name for the island? How about not holding to previous agreements about naming? How is this not rather demeaning? I say scrap it all and call Taiwan (here's a novel idea) "Taiwan," which is certainly more accurate and includes the entire island, not just the capital city.

Besides, Beijing has always used names as way to mess with Taiwan on the international stage. What's in a name? Plenty, actually.

The IHT has more.

Satire Alert: Tired of McCain and Obama? Try Someone New!

Quirky Asia Files: Japan -- Acupuncture on Tuna For Better Sushi

This goofy story could only from that quirkiest of all the Asian nations, Japan.

But does the fish really taste better? Because if it does . . .

Friday Fun Video: Iron Man and Batman Hype

Ah, yes, Batmania is sweeping the nation. If you haven't seen the flick yet, I do recommend it.

I also recommend that you keep a sense of humor about Batmania too. Remember the playful Batman-Iron Man videos I posted before? Here is a new one, with Iron Man reacting to the ludicrous amount of Batman hype.

Enjoy.

Satire Alert: the Gospel Account of Obamessiah

Leave it to a witty Brit to compose this delightful political satire and parody of the media's fawning over Obama as he takes his international tour. (via Ninme.)

Here's a blurb. Do read the whole thing.

And this is the testimony of one who speaks the truth and bears witness to the truth so that you might believe. And he knows it is the truth for he saw it all on CNN and the BBC and in the pages of The New York Times.

Then the Child ventured forth from Israel and Palestine and stepped onto the shores of the Old Continent. In the land of Queen Angela of Merkel, vast multitudes gathered to hear his voice, and he preached to them at length.

. . . Thence he travelled west to Mount Sarkozy. Even the beauteous Princess Carla of the tribe of the Bruni was struck by awe and she was great in love with the Child, but he was tempted not.

On the Seventh Day he walked across the Channel of the Angles to the ancient land of the hooligans. There he was welcomed with open arms by the once great prophet Blair and his successor, Gordon the Leper, and his successor, David the Golden One.

And suddenly, with the men appeared the archangel Gabriel and the whole host of the heavenly choir, ranks of cherubim and seraphim, all praising God and singing: “Yes, We Can."

Hilarious!

Geek News: Harvesting Solar Energy -- From Space?

Here is a fascinating if science-fiction-y idea from a former manager of NASA experiments. Blurb:

A space solar power system would involve building large solar energy collectors in orbit around the Earth. These panels would collect far more energy than land-based units, which are hampered by weather, low angles of the sun in northern climes and, of course, the darkness of night.

. . . In terms of cost effectiveness, the two stumbling blocks for space solar power have been the expense of launching the collectors and the efficiency of their solar cells. Fortunately, the recent development of thinner, lighter and much higher efficiency solar cells promises to make sending them into space less expensive and return of energy much greater. Much of the progress has come in the private sector. Companies like Space Exploration Technologies and Orbital Sciences, working in conjunction with NASA’s public-private Commercial Orbital Transportation Services initiative, have been developing the capacity for very low cost launchings to the International Space Station. This same technology could be adapted to sending up a solar power satellite system.

I also love the fact that "much of the progress has come in the private sector." Yes, please -- turn the private sector and all its R&D nerds and geeks loose! And keep government out of it as much as possible.

As for the idea of space solar harvesting . . . is this nonsense or nerdgasmarrific? It's certainly a thought worth exploring!

Nerd Notes: On this day in 1911, the discovery of Machu Picchu

Who did it? Yale professor Hiram Bingham. Well, actually, he probably wasn't the first European to see this lost city of the Incas in Peru, but he was the first to conduct excavations, explore the site in detail, and also to publicize it.

Nerd kudos, Professor Bingham.

Goodness, I'd love to go see it myself someday!

Still, my favorite archaeology-discovery story is probably that eccentric Heinrich Schliemann and his mad quest for (and discovery of!) a historical Troy . . . or the 1922 discovery of King Tut's tomb by Howard Carter. You?

*Insert Indiana Jones-type fantasies of nerdness during the school year and high adventures in exotic locations during the summer holidays . . . Ahhhhhhhh . . .* (Yes, I'm back in the Library of Doom as I type, and I'm not too happy about it! Maybe I'll just go and buy a pith helmet.)